I have not laughed so fucking hard in AGES. I had to call over all the people in my team to have a look. You've made our Monday. BEST. POST. EVARRRR!!!
P.S. this post will make it hard for me to add you to my blogroll, but you will always have a place in my Bookmarks. This is far more arousing than it should be. Hmmm..
I think it is cruel to have Barbie Dolls with impossible figures and expect woman to try to live up to this image. Now with these photos I can see soon we will have a fisting Barbie. I realize its a lot easier to let your figure go and resemble a fist than to become a Barbie, (impossible) proportionally speaking. When fisting Barbie does take off life for today’s woman is going to become much easier. What great strides we are making! Your Friend and Renaissance man JWW
Mahd: poor dumb girl doesn't seem to realise that she is about to enter quicksand. she looks quite 'cheerleader' about the whole thing really
Lady Jane: I worry for your son. it's just not right that he has pornographic toys. i think we should all march in protest at this filth at our local toy shop...
Trueborn: if the rumours about Ken i heard are true i think you might find that he's hiding in the trademan's entrance...yanno?
Sheri: Oh gawd they might go to school telling people that they own Vagina Barbie
Josh: do you think that there is any risk that we will simply be subject to pressure to have skinny fists? i hope not - i like my lumpy non-plastic fist.
NWG: i think if this trend takes off they will have to make Barbies with eyes that close...
DB: actually i think she has a very sweet little vagina. and i love how it matches the pink of the Barbie doll...
ChickyBabe: i would be a LOT more concerned if you thought that it was your vagina...
Jerry: Right. So i could put your down for one Barbie..uh...up your rectum?? sure. done.
Cookie: do you need a glass of water? a pat on the back? some Valium?
Mone: A barbie is what we call a barbeque in australia. Be sure to clarify - i am sure you don't a gas bottle up your pink bits
Gav: my word. i hope that isn't where you picked up your sexual repetoire?
Egan: Just a second sonny. it might be your vagina but ChickyBabe assures me its her Barbie. Please explain why you have ChickyBabe's barbie up your lady-parts?
Tinyhands: i think you might find that sound is a bit mufffled where Barbie is right now. perhaps you could get her attention by tapping her on her hand??
Jay: and is this a picture of your ex-girlfriend? i think the world needs to know who this lass is - i want to see what she can do with a teddy bear...
Egan: I can happily flick my bean to the thought of some hot guy with long hair but the tank top and g-string were deal breakers for me.
Dora and Tina: My god you do have a thing for Barbie. You would love an ornament I have in my home – it’s a birdcage called Bondage Barbie. Its filled with…erm…’modified’ barbie dolls committing unspeakable acts…
Cookie: Now just breathe my dear. You too in all your Barbie pinkness can go cave diving. All you need to find is a nice cave and I would assume a bit of lubricant?
Denny: I was always certain that Barbie was a porn star. I think these pictures confirm my findings. No doubt her PR people would claim she was doing something innocent like trying to retrieve a ball or something. I think you should investigate for the Not So Normal News, Denny.
Henri: Well is it a sport or is it an art or is it a science? You know us academics could debate this for hours. We have the Commonwealth Games starting on Wednesday – I will check the program and see if I can buy tickets to the Vag Diving event…
Christi: Well I wish I was. I have no idea how this young lady managed to deplete those hairs without even a tiny hint of ingrown hair. I can only assume the pictures were fixed in photoshop.
Wally: So. You have a thing for blonde barbies? That’s okay Wally. You can tell us. This is the internet – we’ll keep it secret…
Jozee: Ah ha! You and Egan must attend the same cave diving school – he informs me that this is another word for cave diving too. How nice that both of you went to the same school!
Poly: Try checking her arsehole…
Fuckkit: Well if it was me and I was stuck for a vibrator I would just use a nice piece of over ripe fruit
PDD: I am sure she didn’t stretch that far – in the second and third pic you can’t see the Barbie’s arms. In the last pic you can. I’m sure it’s a hoax…I fucking hope it’s a hoax…all that synthetic hair can’t be good for one’s PH levels…
FNqueen: Barbie is so skinny I don’t think she has any space for batteries, unless it’s a watch battery?
Egan: That mental image is arousing. Please send pictures. My next blog entry will be Egan-Work friendly – even your boss will enjoy it. Please tell me what subject matter is work-friendly for you and I will oblige. I am assuming that anal butt plugs is a no-no?
Mongrel: Yes but she has better hair
Slicknfun: Welcome and thank you! you are welcome anytime!
No, that's too simple. Try again. I am so sly pulling up your site at work. I bet someone taps me on the left should today and says "son, can you come with me to my office." Wagers anyone?
I for one would like to comment on what a tight little vagina that person has, Barbie should be glad to be shoved in such a neatly trimmed, very clean and tight pink little twat.
Egan: m'okay. i can be flexible. how about i discuss "how to skin a cat". That's hard for me because i am a cat lover...and i swear there will be no shaved pussy pictures. this is, after all, supposed to be an Egan-Work-Friendly post...you can trust me...
Erin: the bit that amazes me is that her vagina does not look like a road accident after her little prank
PDD: I greatly suspect that she will emerge from this escapade with little plastic scratches all over the place. more like a raw steak.
Denny: Yes PDD is full of cooking tips
Toast: actually barbie has a very neat twat herself. i am not sure how she pees but she is so tight she closed over...
Le Chit: that would be one very good waxer. they always leave stray hairs when i go...
Now I'm no expert on inserting foreign objects into various orifices, but there does seem to be a distinct lack of lube in this picture. Oh it may have gone in easy enough, but I wanna see the pictures from when she tried to pull it out again.
Chatty: i suspect Barbie was somewhat speechless too after that
ChickyBabe: Egan is ever so nimble to be able to fit your Barbie into his non-existant bits. I can't wait to see what he can do with a train set
Geezer: You're alive! i thought you may have put your finger in a plug or something.
Sydney is gay. i am outta here - heading back to the UK in 4 months...
Cookie: Is this the same Paster Brown that lists fucking goats as a hobby? hmmmm?
Egan: i have a very strict policy that i only blog every second day. of course if you would like to pop over the pond and finish writing my technical specification i am sure i devote time to writing about kittens and balls of wool??
Jesus Jane, every time you tell me "no one will see these but us" it ends up on your blog. I'm begining to think maybe I should stop letting you take pictures.
As the Taker of Gist, I can tell you that this is one of the most Gistworthy things I have seen in my days, topped only by the fall of the Roman Empire. Yes, I was alive back then. The Taker of Gist is eternal.
And even back then, Barbie was well known, although she went by the pseudonym "Medusa." Ring any bells?
Janey: I got my webcam up! I went online not knowing the world would come attacking. How do I set it up only for my blog. It's up on my blog but I don't want to show the world myself. I just want it strictly for the blog.
God you should have seen all the horny prepupescent punks shouting "show us yourself! Show us yourself!" I had the camera pointing at my closet door.
Words fail me. I never knew Barbie was a muff-diver. Never. And she lived with me for all those years. I wonder if she touched me inappropriately and I've blocked it out. :oP
Cookie: oh well thats okay then. its an easy mistake to make. i make it all the time. i often mistake goats for apples too. poor pastor.
Toby: I think Polyman might know where ken is. he seems to be...er...suntanned....
Gist: But in Roman Times i doubt whether women were able to attain such a close shave...
Erin: How about Barbie's House of Pain??
PDD: just make sure that you don't make your cam public (its in your settings) and then copy and paste the Stickham code into your blogger template! give me a yell if you need help
Candace: oh, the makers of Barbie have kept it under wraps for YEARS. only a select few people knew about it but they signed confidentiality agreements.
i am here to blow the lid on Barbie wide open. um. as such.
I love how Barbie's hands are sticking out of that young woman's pussy, looking as if they are about to clap.
On a somewhat related note, years ago, my roommate in Chicago bought some old porno playing cards at the Maxwell Street flea market. He sent the more offensive ones to his friends with captions. For example, one had a chick with a lit cigarette in her beave with a caption reading, "Smoking is glamrous." Another had a different chick with a vacuum cleaner attachment in her beave with a caption that read, "I hate housework." I searched and searched the internet for anything that might resemble that, and I was unsuccessful, so you will have to engage your imagination for the visual.
These three pictures made me think of that, and made me more than chortle.
Speaking of suicide by vagina, Charles Bukowski wrote a short story called "Six Inches," in which this evil woman puts a curse on ol' Henry Chinaski whereby he gradually shrinks to only six inches in length, and he meets the same fate as little Barbie there.
I'm not making this up, by the way. It's in an anthology called The Most Beautiful Woman in Town, and Other Tales of Ordinary Madness.
After seeing this post again, I wonder if you might not be channeling the late great Buk.
Photo source: unknown
84 comments:
I have not laughed so fucking hard in AGES. I had to call over all the people in my team to have a look. You've made our Monday. BEST. POST. EVARRRR!!!
WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE!! I DEMAND ROYALTIES!!
OMG that's so funny!Now every time I see a barbie I going to remember this--Thanks Jungle jane I see Barbies everyday!!!
Denny:
if drowning in a vagina is your thing then yes i guess Barbie's batting average is prolly better than yours:-)
Steph:
Fuck. now your team members are gonna think i have a rude blog...
Carla:
in your dreams do you have such a tight arse, cupcake
Cezi:
It is my duty to inform and educate. my work here is done.
So Ken is not the only c*nt, Barbie has been 'taken in' by.
I'll give you ten bucks if you let me sniff your Barbie.
[GULP]
P.S. this post will make it hard for me to add you to my blogroll, but you will always have a place in my Bookmarks. This is far more arousing than it should be. Hmmm..
Tickersoid
WAHAHAHAHA that is the funniest comment i ever read!!
oh and its okay to say cunt on my blog. i'm australian - its not a swear word here
Motor City Monk:
I think i should change the title of this post to Toxic Shock Syndrome Barie eh?
Barman:
i doubt Barbie was a willing participant. mind you, she does have an eager grin on her face as she sinks into the quicksand...
Egan:
um is that your jaw i found on the floor Egan?
As long as i am in the Blogroll of your Mind i will be happy.
I wonder how many de-linked me today bwahahahahahaha
Apparently nobody warned Barbie to stay away from strange holes. Oh well, we can have a candlelight vigil for her.
Or maybe that's not such a good idea...
Holy Shit Batman!
Thats one stiff figure!
Wait till Ken Hears about this.
That is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen! God forbid my daughters see this. They'd think Barbie died!
ROFLMAO!
I think it is cruel to have Barbie Dolls with impossible figures and expect woman to try to live up to this image. Now with these photos I can see soon we will have a fisting Barbie.
I realize its a lot easier to let your figure go and resemble a fist than to become a Barbie, (impossible) proportionally speaking. When fisting Barbie does take off life for today’s woman is going to become much easier. What great strides we are making!
Your Friend and Renaissance man JWW
talk about gettin head.
Holy SHIT... that takes "muff diving" to a WHOLE new level?!
At least she shaved....no winter bush.
Cr@p!!! That looks like my Barbie!! I'm never talking to her again!
uh...I'm in.
Mahd:
poor dumb girl doesn't seem to realise that she is about to enter quicksand. she looks quite 'cheerleader' about the whole thing really
Lady Jane:
I worry for your son. it's just not right that he has pornographic toys. i think we should all march in protest at this filth at our local toy shop...
Trueborn:
if the rumours about Ken i heard are true i think you might find that he's hiding in the trademan's entrance...yanno?
Sheri:
Oh gawd they might go to school telling people that they own Vagina Barbie
Josh:
do you think that there is any risk that we will simply be subject to pressure to have skinny fists? i hope not - i like my lumpy non-plastic fist.
NWG:
i think if this trend takes off they will have to make Barbies with eyes that close...
DB:
actually i think she has a very sweet little vagina. and i love how it matches the pink of the Barbie doll...
ChickyBabe:
i would be a LOT more concerned if you thought that it was your vagina...
Jerry:
Right. So i could put your down for one Barbie..uh...up your rectum?? sure. done.
Cookie:
do you need a glass of water? a pat on the back? some Valium?
I want a barbie to, looks like fun...
♪ Hello Dolly! Well, Hello Dolly! It's so nice to have you back where you belong. ♪
Mone:
A barbie is what we call a barbeque in australia. Be sure to clarify - i am sure you don't a gas bottle up your pink bits
Gav:
my word. i hope that isn't where you picked up your sexual repetoire?
Egan:
Just a second sonny. it might be your vagina but ChickyBabe assures me its her Barbie. Please explain why you have ChickyBabe's barbie up your lady-parts?
Tinyhands:
i think you might find that sound is a bit mufffled where Barbie is right now. perhaps you could get her attention by tapping her on her hand??
Vive la Barbie!
I can relate to Barbie on this one; that is exactly how I used to satisfy an ex-girlfriend.
ChickyBabe will deny this Jungle, but we have met. Her post today was totally about me. Again, she will never admit to any of this.
I need to get off (pun intended) this post now. It's causing problems with my head.
Jay:
and is this a picture of your ex-girlfriend? i think the world needs to know who this lass is - i want to see what she can do with a teddy bear...
Egan:
I can happily flick my bean to the thought of some hot guy with long hair but the tank top and g-string were deal breakers for me.
So do you wear tank tops often?
I didnt know vag diving is a barbie sport !!!
Just goes ta show ya blondes do have more fun !
Aww, Jane. I had no idea you were so cleanly shaven. How do you get so close like that?
Spelunking Barbie. All she needs is a head lamp then she could hit the g spot. ;-)
OMG! She's at it again!
Has anyone seen my GI Joe?
What, you couldnt afford a vibrator?
I never understood how a woman can stretch that far. That fucking looks painful dude. Owe. Mine needs to be touched and handled gently.
I have been known to wear tanktops, g-strings, skirts, and capris often. You have a problem with that?
Hey, I braved your blog from work. Hurray for me!
I'm longer and thicker than that doll.
hy jane,
just browsing...
nice blog you're having!
cheers
Dora and Tina:
My god you do have a thing for Barbie. You would love an ornament I have in my home – it’s a birdcage called Bondage Barbie. Its filled with…erm…’modified’ barbie dolls committing unspeakable acts…
Cookie:
Now just breathe my dear. You too in all your Barbie pinkness can go cave diving. All you need to find is a nice cave and I would assume a bit of lubricant?
Denny:
I was always certain that Barbie was a porn star. I think these pictures confirm my findings. No doubt her PR people would claim she was doing something innocent like trying to retrieve a ball or something. I think you should investigate for the Not So Normal News, Denny.
Henri:
Well is it a sport or is it an art or is it a science? You know us academics could debate this for hours. We have the Commonwealth Games starting on Wednesday – I will check the program and see if I can buy tickets to the Vag Diving event…
Christi:
Well I wish I was. I have no idea how this young lady managed to deplete those hairs without even a tiny hint of ingrown hair. I can only assume the pictures were fixed in photoshop.
Wally:
So. You have a thing for blonde barbies? That’s okay Wally. You can tell us. This is the internet – we’ll keep it secret…
Jozee:
Ah ha! You and Egan must attend the same cave diving school – he informs me that this is another word for cave diving too. How nice that both of you went to the same school!
Poly:
Try checking her arsehole…
Fuckkit:
Well if it was me and I was stuck for a vibrator I would just use a nice piece of over ripe fruit
PDD:
I am sure she didn’t stretch that far – in the second and third pic you can’t see the Barbie’s arms. In the last pic you can. I’m sure it’s a hoax…I fucking hope it’s a hoax…all that synthetic hair can’t be good for one’s PH levels…
FNqueen:
Barbie is so skinny I don’t think she has any space for batteries, unless it’s a watch battery?
Egan:
That mental image is arousing. Please send pictures. My next blog entry will be Egan-Work friendly – even your boss will enjoy it. Please tell me what subject matter is work-friendly for you and I will oblige. I am assuming that anal butt plugs is a no-no?
Mongrel:
Yes but she has better hair
Slicknfun:
Welcome and thank you! you are welcome anytime!
After the initial shock wore off, I must admit that was pretty funny.
Zen i suspect after the Toxic Shock wore off the lady in the picture probably found it very funny too...
Correct, anal butt plugs isn't work safe. Let me think. You could blog about what really happens in the Lactation Rooms in offices.
Cappy:
10 inch plastic dolls are also good for microwaving for fun. see how they melt. of course i would NEVER do that to you, you little sex object
Egan:
i've already blogged about milk. How about i tackle "how to fuck a porcupine"?
Thanks, found him!
I'll be posting pictures soon...
No, that's too simple. Try again. I am so sly pulling up your site at work. I bet someone taps me on the left should today and says "son, can you come with me to my office." Wagers anyone?
Other than Barbie's glorious mane, this woman is utterly void of hair. There is not so much as one speck of razor stubble.
Hm. I imagine she is very proud of this.
Seeing the labia minora stretch to that extent is really hurting me right now. I think I would bleed. That looks fucking painful.
If she keeps inviting Babie in to play she will begin to grow some massive meat curtains; on the threshold of bowls of lasagna.
I for one would like to comment on what a tight little vagina that person has, Barbie should be glad to be shoved in such a neatly trimmed, very clean and tight pink little twat.
Denny:
Like I said, I love bowl of lasagne so much. Too much. I can't get over it. Ever since you mentioned it... well, I can't get over it.
Jesus Toast:
Keep talking like that, you are turning me on.
Poly:
Can you make sure you wipe properly?
Egan:
m'okay. i can be flexible. how about i discuss "how to skin a cat". That's hard for me because i am a cat lover...and i swear there will be no shaved pussy pictures. this is, after all, supposed to be an Egan-Work-Friendly post...you can trust me...
Erin:
the bit that amazes me is that her vagina does not look like a road accident after her little prank
PDD:
I greatly suspect that she will emerge from this escapade with little plastic scratches all over the place. more like a raw steak.
Denny:
Yes PDD is full of cooking tips
Toast:
actually barbie has a very neat twat herself. i am not sure how she pees but she is so tight she closed over...
Le Chit:
that would be one very good waxer. they always leave stray hairs when i go...
Now I'm no expert on inserting foreign objects into various orifices, but there does seem to be a distinct lack of lube in this picture.
Oh it may have gone in easy enough, but I wanna see the pictures from when she tried to pull it out again.
Good one!
I think we should all meet a year from now, in a post-traumatic stress discussion group.
If ya think that's unusual ? My ex would do that with "Tickle Me Elmo" !
Denny:
should i be worried that instead of feeling horny i want an early lunch?
Fuckkit:
perhaps she coughed it up?
Zen:
Okay. and lets all each bring a small plastic toy doll yeah?
Wally:
and did it tickle?
...
...
...
I am never speechless.
Jane 1
Chatty 0
Oh gawd... I'm away for like 10 minutes, and my Barbie is playing with Egan's rude bits which he doesn't have! Or does he...
Yes, Egan, we've met on that beach and I gave you a wedgie!
'mummy,why does my barbie smell like kippers been left out in the sun?'
hello jungle. hows gay ole syders?
Denny:
i bet they both involve lasagne?
Chatty:
i suspect Barbie was somewhat speechless too after that
ChickyBabe:
Egan is ever so nimble to be able to fit your Barbie into his non-existant bits. I can't wait to see what he can do with a train set
Geezer:
You're alive! i thought you may have put your finger in a plug or something.
Sydney is gay. i am outta here - heading back to the UK in 4 months...
Cookie:
Is this the same Paster Brown that lists fucking goats as a hobby? hmmmm?
Egan:
i have a very strict policy that i only blog every second day. of course if you would like to pop over the pond and finish writing my technical specification i am sure i devote time to writing about kittens and balls of wool??
Jesus Jane, every time you tell me "no one will see these but us" it ends up on your blog. I'm begining to think maybe I should stop letting you take pictures.
I can't find ken anywhere.
As the Taker of Gist, I can tell you that this is one of the most Gistworthy things I have seen in my days, topped only by the fall of the Roman Empire. Yes, I was alive back then. The Taker of Gist is eternal.
And even back then, Barbie was well known, although she went by the pseudonym "Medusa." Ring any bells?
This puts a whole new spin on the phrase "Barbie Dream House"
Janey:
I got my webcam up!
I went online not knowing the world would come attacking. How do I set it up only for my blog. It's up on my blog but I don't want to show the world myself. I just want it strictly for the blog.
God you should have seen all the horny prepupescent punks shouting "show us yourself! Show us yourself!" I had the camera pointing at my closet door.
Words fail me. I never knew Barbie was a muff-diver. Never. And she lived with me for all those years. I wonder if she touched me inappropriately and I've blocked it out. :oP
Cookie:
oh well thats okay then. its an easy mistake to make. i make it all the time. i often mistake goats for apples too. poor pastor.
Toby:
I think Polyman might know where ken is. he seems to be...er...suntanned....
Gist:
But in Roman Times i doubt whether women were able to attain such a close shave...
Erin:
How about Barbie's House of Pain??
PDD:
just make sure that you don't make your cam public (its in your settings) and then copy and paste the Stickham code into your blogger template! give me a yell if you need help
Candace:
oh, the makers of Barbie have kept it under wraps for YEARS. only a select few people knew about it but they signed confidentiality agreements.
i am here to blow the lid on Barbie wide open. um. as such.
I kind'a think I got a new kink "Dolly Dip'n" . Ya I'm hooked ! I'm gonna download me some peek-a-boo Barbie porn !
Damn! That you, JJ?
Jane, thanks to you this IS her day in the loo.
LOL! I just fell off my bed and spit water all over the floor! That is so funny!!!
I love how Barbie's hands are sticking out of that young woman's pussy, looking as if they are about to clap.
On a somewhat related note, years ago, my roommate in Chicago bought some old porno playing cards at the Maxwell Street flea market. He sent the more offensive ones to his friends with captions. For example, one had a chick with a lit cigarette in her beave with a caption reading, "Smoking is glamrous." Another had a different chick with a vacuum cleaner attachment in her beave with a caption that read, "I hate housework." I searched and searched the internet for anything that might resemble that, and I was unsuccessful, so you will have to engage your imagination for the visual.
These three pictures made me think of that, and made me more than chortle.
Cappy:
You use plastic razors? Does that work well on plastic hair?
Le Chit:
I wonder if the babies would have been born with little yellow hats?
Wally:
Have fun - all Barbies appear to come with Brazillian waxes too. bonus.
Crallspace:
I wish i was that...um...flexible. Sadly its not me - i'm not game enough to risk the inevitable injuries that would follow
Meredith:
its one place no-one would think to look during Barbie Hide 'n go Seek
MAtty:
i am glad it was on the floor and not all over your nice new pants...
Hal:
was the chick with the cigarette blowing smoke rings? now that would be clever!
I am gone for a couple of weeks and I come back to this?
Bra-fuckin'-vo!
I like my "Dolly Dip'n" snatches smooth !
Hal:
I love the "smoking is glamorous" anything with glamour I love.
Hold on Barbie I'm coming!
LOL at the post and Tickersoids comment. Quality stuff.
Some dark part of me wanted to see if I could do that. I'm calling the mental hospital now...
Janey, she wasn't blowing...smoke rings, that is...
:)
Badgod:
you went away for 2 weeks and Barbie committed suicide by vagina
Wally:
do they come in lumpy flavour?
PDD:
she won't think that when she gets a wrinkly vagina from smoking
Lady Muck:
I doubt the mental hospital will help you insert the barbie?
Hal:
oh she was smoking all right
You make me very happy Jane. I'm super sneaky and shit. Did you get your work done?
knock yourself out Egan. i even stopped working while i created what i think a monkey looks like...
Speaking of suicide by vagina, Charles Bukowski wrote a short story called "Six Inches," in which this evil woman puts a curse on ol' Henry Chinaski whereby he gradually shrinks to only six inches in length, and he meets the same fate as little Barbie there.
I'm not making this up, by the way. It's in an anthology called The Most Beautiful Woman in Town, and Other Tales of Ordinary Madness.
After seeing this post again, I wonder if you might not be channeling the late great Buk.
dude,even though the UK has way cheap pills,its STILL full of poms!!!!
will you be posting LIVE from da UK?
Hal:
Wow i think thats what happened to Captain Carl! well its not stopped him having the libido of a 6ft strapping lad!
Geezer:
yeah. thats the whole point! i dunno what will happen to the jungle at first - its going to be a hectic first 6 months i think:-(
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