19:53pm: Jungle Jane visits the toilet 20:13pm: Jungle Jane exits the toilet 20:15pm: Jungle Jane discovers a tampon behind her ear 21:03pm: Jungle Jane STILL cannot find her missing pencil
I'd write off that pencil as missing presumed dead. There must be space in there for a hundred magic markers and I don't see too many people volunteering for the search party.
Oh my. If you are wearing knickers I say check and see if you see doodles or eraser remnants. If you do than write the pencil off. Oh and you know they make pencils that are two inches or more thick, right. You will have a hard time ... misplacing it.
Ingsoc: Well i don't know. I can't fucking find it. i can tell you that chewing it is nowhere near as nice as chewing my pencil though
Jenny: I give pencils poisening. That's right - i expect there is a pencil out there somewhere frantically getting tested for the clap right now
GB: Oh don't be so mean. Just put on your miner's helmet, take a deep breath, block your nose and dive right in. don't foresake me in my hour of need, GB. My twat is not a stationery cupboard, you know
Mutley: *perk* i won something? is it a new pencil set?
No knickers, I'm screwed ... well my plan is anyway. I will keep thinking about it.
In the mean time I found a pencil like I was mentioning here. I think that out to work. Oh and should you check out that page, check out the beer glass below the pencil. Oh and they have some giant granny panties. The next time someone wants to get in your panties there will be plenty of room. Sorry, must not be a UK company as they do not refer to them as knickers.
I don't know if you are in the habit of allowing men to stick their thingamajigs in there, but if you do, then the next one may be in for a sharp, painful surprise.
Barman: Oh lordy me, that's not a pencil, its porn. I MUST have those knickers. Not to wear or anything...just to hang on my washing line so that the neighbours think i wear knickers
Smack: It certainly is mighty painful - my fist is full of little puncture holes right now...
Oh tickers you are so ingenious. Art and gussets all in one sentence. perhaps i can even draw the picture with the pencil still stuck in my twat? Vag Art, like?
Henri: I would be far more interested in studying your pencil.
Wayne: Actually i taught my twat to type a few months ago. so much quicker than writing
Ratty: I fail to see how a tampon nestling behind my ear could dissolve into my bloodstream. but of course i believe you and will therefore leave it there until its gone.
Zen: D'you think Spanish people would be offended if they picked up a pencil, chewed the end of it and it smelled faintly of fish??
I have one word Crayons, big box for cheap and they always disappear not matter what, so if you loose one, you know its just lost its the fact of crayolas. As far as tampons, I dunno.
I once was have'n sex pissed drunk with a even drunker gal friend . I didn't know she was on the rag and she didn't tell'n me either . I guess I rushed it a little and pushed her tampon up to nowhere-ville .
And it wasn't fun watch'n her try'n to fish it out ! Not much !!!
Beastie: I thought I would draw a picture of my twat for you. How about on your face? Does that suit you?
Raffi: That’s interesting - I wonder if hedgehogs know that they are running about with a load of tampons on their backs?
Convict: I like to take my time in the bog. Savour the moment, like. Other people go to church – I like to practice my spirituality whilst taking a dump. Breathe in the air, like
Arm: If I were you, I would take a week off every month to allow yourself to bleed freely.
Josh: My word Josh, are you saying that you have lost crayons up your vagina? Holy smoke, that must be quite…er…colourful…
Wally (1) Ohhh but I want to leave it up there as long as possible. Its my triumph Wally – the post that finally got you grossed out. I savor that moment y’know.
Snay: Ohhhh…you mean like a lodged bullet? They often simply leave those alone too for decorative purposes. My word, I like that idea. I feel like a solider of sorts. A Hero.
Wally (2): Maybe she wasn’t on the blob? Maybe she just fancied fisting herself and was too polite to tell you???
Chickybabe: My word you are an offbeat lady. Why on earth would I sharpen my tampon?
Zen: No need. I am working on a little side project to capture my own body odour and market it as perfume. I am certain it will be a best seller and everyone will get laid heaps more.
Denny Ohhhh denny be a darling and pass the pencil back to me, please?
Pixie No sweetie…it’s been a bit of a weekend. I’ve got a couple of vials of crack if you’re interested? And once you’ve freebased those, be a love and maker yer old mum a nice cup of tea?
Henri: You see – flattery gets me everywhere. Now bring your pencil here….sharpish….
brookelina Ahhhhhhhhhh! I remember now! You’re the girl with the most cake, right?
~d: Blimey…I tell you…kids – they just never stop. You should know all about that though. Pixie might only be eight years old but blimey the little minx can drink and smoke me under the table…
As for the tampon – well they are useless as pencils let me tell you. I’ve finally dipped mine in honey and thrown it to the lesbians.
Sausage Oh god yes, remember that night? I still can’t believe you managed to blow Slash and roll a joint at the same time.
I guess I could always use the tampon string as dental floss??
PDD: Yayayayayayayayayayay! You are back!! I’m getting in a Facebook twist PDD and its all your fault. Damn stoopid demanding facebook…
Tony: Oh lordy me - i hope it didn't end up behind your ear?? that would be ironic!
Winters: Yes i like that idea - i could be like Banksy, but more twat oriented? Would you buy some of my artwork, winters? I can draw something for you on some knickers, or something??
45 comments:
Is it as effective?
ouch! i hope you don't get lead poisioning!
I'd write off that pencil as missing presumed dead. There must be space in there for a hundred magic markers and I don't see too many people volunteering for the search party.
You are on your won with this one Jungley -for ever...
So what are you going to write with the tampax then? Because the pencil has obviously been dropped in the bathroom.
The pencil must be in the pencil sharpener.
Were you doing a crossword or sudoku while visiting?
Oh my. If you are wearing knickers I say check and see if you see doodles or eraser remnants. If you do than write the pencil off. Oh and you know they make pencils that are two inches or more thick, right. You will have a hard time ... misplacing it.
That's why I don't use tampons. Well, that and they make me physically ill, but besides that...
Ingsoc:
Well i don't know. I can't fucking find it. i can tell you that chewing it is nowhere near as nice as chewing my pencil though
Jenny:
I give pencils poisening. That's right - i expect there is a pencil out there somewhere frantically getting tested for the clap right now
GB:
Oh don't be so mean. Just put on your miner's helmet, take a deep breath, block your nose and dive right in. don't foresake me in my hour of need, GB. My twat is not a stationery cupboard, you know
Mutley:
*perk* i won something? is it a new pencil set?
Ebezp:
I won't write a thing. I HATE red ink...
No knickers, I'm screwed ... well my plan is anyway. I will keep thinking about it.
In the mean time I found a pencil like I was mentioning here. I think that out to work. Oh and should you check out that page, check out the beer glass below the pencil. Oh and they have some giant granny panties. The next time someone wants to get in your panties there will be plenty of room. Sorry, must not be a UK company as they do not refer to them as knickers.
I don't know if you are in the habit of allowing men to stick their thingamajigs in there, but if you do, then the next one may be in for a sharp, painful surprise.
That'll teach him.
Barman:
Oh lordy me, that's not a pencil, its porn. I MUST have those knickers. Not to wear or anything...just to hang on my washing line so that the neighbours think i wear knickers
Smack:
It certainly is mighty painful - my fist is full of little puncture holes right now...
If you wore knickers, you could draw your own conclusions in the gusset
Oh tickers you are so ingenious. Art and gussets all in one sentence. perhaps i can even draw the picture with the pencil still stuck in my twat? Vag Art, like?
Come here you wicked Girl and i show you your Pencil !!!
this should help when you're sitting down and need to take notes.
That's fine. It will dissolve and work it's way into your bloodstream.
Spanish people consider it an insult if you write them a letter in red, so I hope that wasn't what happened.
I also hope whatever contraband you may have been smuggling did not get erased by the eraser end.
Henri:
I would be far more interested in studying your pencil.
Wayne:
Actually i taught my twat to type a few months ago. so much quicker than writing
Ratty:
I fail to see how a tampon nestling behind my ear could dissolve into my bloodstream. but of course i believe you and will therefore leave it there until its gone.
Zen:
D'you think Spanish people would be offended if they picked up a pencil, chewed the end of it and it smelled faintly of fish??
JJ , where you drawing me a picture of your parts ???? your so thoughtful
tampons can be used like quills, perfect for writing. i say you cut your losses.
20 minutes on the bog?
You getting enough fibre?
Makes a change from a suppository I suppose.
I know, it's disgusting. But I don't like passing out.
I love the word knickers...
I have one word Crayons, big box for cheap and they always disappear not matter what, so if you loose one, you know its just lost its the fact of crayolas. As far as tampons, I dunno.
Hmmmm.
Even if you find it, I'd suggest leaving it be ...
I once was have'n sex pissed drunk with a even drunker gal friend . I didn't know she was on the rag and she didn't tell'n me either . I guess I rushed it a little and pushed her tampon up to nowhere-ville .
And it wasn't fun watch'n her try'n to fish it out ! Not much !!!
I hope you didn't sharpen that before visiting the toilet.
I don't know but stock up on Massengill "Scent of Mountain Flowers" just to be on the safe side for next time.
Beastie:
I thought I would draw a picture of my twat for you. How about on your face? Does that suit you?
Raffi:
That’s interesting - I wonder if hedgehogs know that they are running about with a load of tampons on their backs?
Convict:
I like to take my time in the bog. Savour the moment, like. Other people go to church – I like to practice my spirituality whilst taking a dump. Breathe in the air, like
Arm:
If I were you, I would take a week off every month to allow yourself to bleed freely.
Josh:
My word Josh, are you saying that you have lost crayons up your vagina? Holy smoke, that must be quite…er…colourful…
Wally (1)
Ohhh but I want to leave it up there as long as possible. Its my triumph Wally – the post that finally got you grossed out. I savor that moment y’know.
Snay:
Ohhhh…you mean like a lodged bullet? They often simply leave those alone too for decorative purposes. My word, I like that idea. I feel like a solider of sorts. A Hero.
Wally (2):
Maybe she wasn’t on the blob? Maybe she just fancied fisting herself and was too polite to tell you???
Chickybabe:
My word you are an offbeat lady. Why on earth would I sharpen my tampon?
Zen:
No need. I am working on a little side project to capture my own body odour and market it as perfume. I am certain it will be a best seller and everyone will get laid heaps more.
I where the pencil is..... ;)
Yo mum. Got any spare speed?
i take that as a compliment ;-)
We've met before. I'm sure of it.
AAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!
It's Pixie!
(sorry!)
abt the pencil and the tampon thing. Ummm, tampons can be used to roll your hair...and I hope that pencil has a really absorbent eraser!
Ah, this reminds me of the story of how Pixie was conceived.
Might I suggest you quickly break your self of the pencil chewing habit... before your mystery is solved?
23:09: Jungle Jane visits the hospital.
Denny
Ohhhh denny be a darling and pass the pencil back to me, please?
Pixie
No sweetie…it’s been a bit of a weekend. I’ve got a couple of vials of crack if you’re interested? And once you’ve freebased those, be a love and maker yer old mum a nice cup of tea?
Henri:
You see – flattery gets me everywhere. Now bring your pencil here….sharpish….
brookelina
Ahhhhhhhhhh! I remember now! You’re the girl with the most cake, right?
~d:
Blimey…I tell you…kids – they just never stop. You should know all about that though. Pixie might only be eight years old but blimey the little minx can drink and smoke me under the table…
As for the tampon – well they are useless as pencils let me tell you. I’ve finally dipped mine in honey and thrown it to the lesbians.
Sausage
Oh god yes, remember that night? I still can’t believe you managed to blow Slash and roll a joint at the same time.
I guess I could always use the tampon string as dental floss??
PDD:
Yayayayayayayayayayay! You are back!! I’m getting in a Facebook twist PDD and its all your fault. Damn stoopid demanding facebook…
Same Thing Happened To Me Once,oonly I lost my rubber..........
You might produce some interesting artwork next time you rub yourself down...
Tony:
Oh lordy me - i hope it didn't end up behind your ear?? that would be ironic!
Winters:
Yes i like that idea - i could be like Banksy, but more twat oriented? Would you buy some of my artwork, winters? I can draw something for you on some knickers, or something??
Fingers:
Dude, I am having to apply every ounce of ladylike composure to stop myself from siting on your finger and to hell with the damn pencil...
It's a slow day here.
Let's hope your desire triumphs over good manners then...
Post a Comment