I should have known it all was a load of shit when I went to his launch party at Wembley few weeks ago – just because he invented the internet doesn’t mean the dude knows how to throw a party. It was wayyyy overcrowded in there and not a hint of cocaine on offer. Needless to say I bailed early, went home and threw a huge Fuck The Earth party instead. It was awesome – we dined on whale meat, wrapped ourselves in clingfilm and drove around revving our global warmers all night.
With all due respect I don’t think Mr Gore has thought through properly all this climate change stuff he’s trying to sell. Carbon dioxide emissions? Ha! Judging from the size of his belly I would suggest that he probably emits half the developing world’s tally all by himself. The world’s oceans are set to rise by 4 feet in the next year if we buy into his crap and that is seriously a heck of a lot of midgets that are going to drown as a result. And all this just so that Americans can lower their heating bills!
Well fuck all this pressure. I am out of here for a few day on a very well deserved holiday. I scored an awesomely cheap package holiday from www.dodgybreaks.com and I am tres (that’s French) excited about getting away on my little break to
So. While you sad bastards are working like peasants I will be scuba diving with the fishies. If you really want to save the planet while I am gone, consider that if Google had a black screen 750 mega watts an hour per year would be saved. As a result Google has created a gothic version of its search engine called Blackle. It has the same functions as the white version, but with heaps lower energy consumption. Use it. Gore will give you head.
49 comments:
JJ i hope this global warming bollocks is true, as the 4 ft sea level rise will give Beastie a beach front home ....hurrah.
Thanks to the Beasts new healthy diet, they could put a wind turbine in my pants , I could power all the lights in southern england !
Ah Tewkesbury , the venice of the north
Oh my word Beastie, we could have an Emmissions Contest. UK vs USA. You will be in the red corner, Gore will be in the blue corner.
Oh Beastie this is all so exciting! here, lemme feed you some raw broccoli. You can totally wooop his ass!
Who cares about the Hand of God in 1966? England can restore glory with our own Ass of An Angel in 2007. I am so proud of you and our fight to save the earth Beastie.
That horse is pissing on that kid?!!?!? And he's willingly letting that horse piss on him???? To get clean!!!???
I love this blame it all on Al Gore thing! It's true though!!
Beastie must be on the South coast for Tewkesbury to be in the North but I'm with him all the way.
Seriously though JJ wonderfully tongue in cheek post!
Airam
Sigh. Seriously. Have you NO concern for saving the planet? That is not just horse piss - it's a bath. like really - i think you TOTALLY need to become more environmentally friendly.
ebezp
I nearly bit my tongue it was so lodged in my cheek. The midgets will thank me though. The Google thing is not a joke though - Blackle is real. Use it.
i was just wondering the same thing the other day as i watched Jaques Cousteau flippering past my front window. 'Self,' I thought' what is with this 'global warming this and global warming that' shit when its the middle of fucking July and it's fifty fucking degrees out and raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock?' made me quite vexed it did. today, however, it is sunshiny and i am celebrating with a baby harp seal barbecue.
Looks like Blackle is for the goth fans around us, hahaha. Enjoy your vacation JJ, I understand the need to get away from the rain. I'm leaving Sunday evening going straigth south, temperatures around 30°C, thats how I like it.
Take care.
Have you ever fantasized about being a mermaid, JJ? Think of all the ways that a tail is better than a twat.
I would happily pass water on Al Gore's head.
Tewkesbury is full of one eyed inbred sheep copulators. Don't go. Kabul is much nicer at this time of year anyway.
Who cares if the sea level rises. We can buy the midgets stilts.
I like Blackle! As for global warming, we've had the coldest winter in Sydney for years. And it rained rain. But no men.
What I can't work out is that I've been wearing all these plastic bracelets and we still have global poverty and melting ice-caps. Fucking things don't work.
Global warming...psshaw!
Fat people always think the room is too hot.
Re you picture , the wonders of cow urine are revealed in there entirity if you go to the following site
www.hkrl.com/cowurine.html.
I am ordering mine NOW
OMG you're killing me. Now be a good girl and have fun. You must give me all the sordid details, when you get back.
This was hilarious but thought provoking!
I am totally against the methane emissions secreted by that kid's shower, and I think that that kid should be forced to attend a Spinal Tap concert until he sees the political incorrectness of his ways!
gore already gave me head, right after bill, hilary, and lewinsky. i don't believe there really is a blackle, it's like the boogie man.
My old man keeps a boat at Tewkesbury sailing club. It goes wandering sometimes in the floods- though whether it did this time, I have no idea- but the thought always amuses me.
All I can see from here is water.... it is the sea! I understand your concern for global warming - your nice Al Bore was right to export it to the world. We can all benefit!
Looks like a swell vacation spot, baby. Pick me up a snowdome, will you?
You didn't invite ME to your Fuck The Earth party? JJ, I'm hurt. I thought you knew how much I liked fucking round, spinning things.
Personally, I can't WAIT for the end of the world to come. I just hope it's something dramatic, like a huge meteor, or giant spaceships with atomic lasers, and not some lame ass global warming shit that takes forever. When the end comes, I want to be able to watch it from my lawn chair, coked up and drinking a Tequila Sunrise.
Hey if you want Al Bore you can keep him. I will even toss in Michael Moore too.
Oh man, I missed your party. Well have a wonderful holiday there JJ and when you get back I will see about giving the UK a run for it's money on the Emissions Contest. I am sure I have a toot or two to contribute.
Where's that article, anyway?
Jane, you are the smarteset person I know.
If I wasn't married I'd travel to sunny England and ask for your hand in marriage.
I wrapped myself in clingfilm like you suggested but then I didn't feel like protesting against global warming and I started getting turned on and I even masturbated to a picture of Al Gore. Oh crap, I think I am a lost cause, who else am I ever going to meet with an Al Gore clingfilm fetish?
can t t ype pr oper ly beca use m y ke y bo ard ha s wa rp ed fr om th e dam p
There is always a bright side even to flooding. All of those Bullseye winners must be well chuffed that they finally get to use their fucking speedboats.
"Super smashing great" can be heard being shouted in the streets of Sheffield.
Drive-by...wind in my hair...drinkin a 40
To offset my "carbon footprint" leaving a comment here I shall be planting four cannabis plants today!
I think you should know that we are not allowed to use words like "Blackie" in England.
fantastic picture hahaha
Hooray!! What a relief - I thought I was a bit of a tart!
I noticed map quest was generating some extra degrees, and its two demisnional, not a dfamn globe! This global warming is out of control.
Hiya ~dollhead.
Jane, jane, jane, it's worse than you can ever imagine. The global warming perps are coupling with the watchers. The gulls are getting away with whatever - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4t9u23c2_Nw
See it just goes to show "global warming" is just a way of the Prissy Police beating us all down and having a severe go all round. Murderers! and crap! is what i say to it!!!
Passing thru. Again.
(smile)
My kingdom for a cold icey beer.
Sitting on squishy blue "ice" packs has grown boring without new posts, Jane.
If I promised to lick your fanny like a dog with a steak would you come back and post something more?
Jesus Mutley LOL
Where is JJ??
ARE YOU STILL ON HOLIDAY
FOR GOD SAKE WOMAN !!!!!
Jane, oh Jane ... where are you?
You're quite right it IS all Al Gore's fault... do you think he's on the side of the Islamic terrorists? Al Quaeda... Al Gore ... ??
Your such a tease...coming to comment...then no new post! Where have you been?
LA is on the brink of a serious drought since it didn't rain almost at all over the winter.
For that reason, it is also in danger of some serious wildfires, but that's another story.
There are radio and TV ads, as well as billboards and flyers going up about conserving water. Maybe you ought to send the pic you posted to the LA DWP (Department of Water and Power) and see if they'll go for it.
Given what's been happening with our mayor, it can hardly get any worse.
Hal - flyers to stop global warming? I won't state the obvious, but simply ask - am I being a smartarse here?
you know that cat going into orbit? do you think it's got cat diarrhoea??
well SOMETHING's blasting it off that high!!
Jane has given it up to the gulls. She was weak.
Japanese whale fishing is completely lawful.
And is completely scientific.
In addition, it is a Japanese gastronomic culture to eat whales.
You should refrain from the act of denying the culture of another country.
watch this video.
To the person who wants to know why Japan hunts whales
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=xWYOJYEOvSk
[DragonBall] Freezer VS Japanese whaling
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=HdUPHXNPVR4
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ap_0uUICejnG3TGasvh8ePvsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080204060044AAgG9Cy
Why do the media of australia tell a lie and censorship?
if doubt me? Post my comment this URL.
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23155612-5007146,00.html
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