Because I am very busy and important and hold a position of high ranking in the jungle I feel that it is time that I got my own family crest.
It is with much pride and not a small degree of emotion that I present to the world for the very first time my new coat of arms, Cunt With Wings. See how she soars. Note how the diamond in her piercing sparkles. Observe how she sits slightly skew because I don’t know how the rotate button works in Photoshop.
Now although I have recently taken to calling my vagina Narnia, my logo will not succumb to cheap commercialism, oh no. She will simply be referred to as CWW. She will adorn my stationery, my made-to-order toilet paper, my company invoices and a small silver necklace I intend having crafted to match.
In honour of the unveiling of my new heraldry and in line with christening methods employed in the shipping industry I urge you all to purchase a bottle of champagne and break it against your computer monitors. Thank you.