08 February 2006

budgie smuggling

There is something plain fucking wrong about men wearing bicycle shorts as leisure wear*. I even question whether their ewwww factor invalidates their practical value when it comes to sporting activity. The disease is spreading too – only last weekend I noted with dismay on my brisk walk around Balmain Bay that even rowers have now taken to wearing all-in-one lycra jumpsuits. My eyes! My eyes! Mummy make it go away!

If i am going to continue to enjoy my morning walk I am going to have to brush up on bicycle-pant-etiquette – the art of walking past a man dressed in spandex without guffawing at his groin.

Mind you, the world would surely be a better place if I tried to stamp out lycra entirely? Hmmm...perhaps I could walk about the bay in a pair of cycle pants covering a couple of lumpy potatoes and a large curved carrot nestled against my vulva. If it makes just one Lycra Lover question their decision to look like the raw ingredients of a nice winter soup then it's worth it.

The other way I could heal my pain though is to engage the help of you, the blogger, in my time of need:-

Female bloggers: please provide me with three names of male bloggers you wish to see in cycle shorts for whatever perverse reason tickles your tonsils.

Male bloggers: if you are tagged please immediately send me a photo of yourselves in a pair of bad-arse lycra cycle shorts so that I can chortle loudly until my phobia wears off. And no erections, please – The Jungle is a family oriented blog.

*Please note: this post DID NOT apply to Axl Rose who I love and wish to root

posted by jungle jane @ 1:00 pm |


<< Home