23 February 2006

shower shock

I am like not a lesbian, right. Just because I like fucking chicks TOTALLY does not make me a lesbian. So now that that’s all cleared up can someone please explain to me why is it that I simply cannot stop staring at other womens' vaginas when I am in the showers at the gym?

And for those of you out there thinking my gym sounds hot let me tell you its very rarely a beautiful thing – most chicks happy to wander about naked in my gyn showers also happen to have ghaspingly ugly lady-parts that closely resemble roadkill. At that's not even referring to the elderly patrons with snatches that look like they have been pickled. Maybe it's just me and fnqueen but I do find that overgrowth makes for a fucking ugly twat and a very quick shower.

I don’t know what the deal is with hairy girly-gardens and my gym but I do know that am yet to see anyone with a brazillian in the showers. No pubic topiary or piercings either from what I can tell, although its really very hard to make out what’s what with all that fluffy astro turf on display – I keep wondering if I just walked into the Hair Olympics.
I have now concluded that other chicks with bald beavers and piercings simply don’t shower much.

The exception to the 'too much hair' rule is the poor lady in my boxing class who appears to have a low hanging ham nestled between her poor overburdened labia – she definitely needs more hair. If there is such a thing as a clitoral nip and tuck I urge this chick to take the fucking bank loan and just do it. she should. I am not entirely sure whether it is a good thing or a bad thing to have such an unfeasibly large clitoris – I might take this up the most amusing Jesus Toast who kindly spent the past 2 days on Jane TV pretending to be my vagina. Toast is wise in matters of loosely packed kebabs it seems.

Anyhow. You can observe a lot just by watching. Is all I'm sayin'.
posted by jungle jane @ 10:04 am |

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