22 February 2006


"You smell like a pig’s arse"

Swiss: du stenksch wienen souarsch
Martian: &&&^^^##~~~~~```'''':
Scooter: beep beep
Pirate: Ye reek like the bottom end of a Boar.....Matey
Scouse: You smell like a pig's arse now gimme yer fuckin money you cunt
Zen Latin: Odiosus mihis
Brazilian Portuguese: Voce fede como um cu de porco
French: votre odeur est comme le cul de un porc
German: Du riechst wie ein Schwein
Italian: Il vostro odore é come maiale Tu putsa come uno culo de porco (thanks PDD)
Spanish: hueles como el culo de un cerdo
Zulu: bepo lo inja
Afrikaans: jy reik lyk 'n vark
se aars
Denny Speak: ouay mellsay ikelay aay ig'spay rseaay


DorianGray1854 said...

I just took a shower and shit; all a long i thought that was Crew Products for men in my roommates shampoo bottle.

Anonymous said...

Donde es la pharmacia?

gav said...

My hat goes off to anyone who can be offensive in multiple languages.

No pig-latin though ?

Captain Carl said...

Arrrr.......but can ye speak pirate?...............

Zen Wizard said...

Yiddish: "My rabbi said I can't eat your ass, 'cause it's not kosher."

jungle jane said...

and what did it turn out to be? bottled shit??

ohhh...you speek Greek. i'm impressed!

i like to offend as many nations as possible. i find that pictures can generally offend better but there is no harm in having a few phrases tucked under one's arm

please send me the pirate equivalent and i will add it to the list. i wish to learn more pirate.

Credo nos in fluctu eodem esse.

Denny Shane said...

Just for gav...

"ouay mellsay ikelay aay ig'spay rseaay"

jungle jane said...

Just for Denny:

esra s'gip a ekil llems uoy

Zen Wizard said...

I know--sometimes, it's like I'm looking in the mirror.

A funhouse mirror; and I'm in drag; but...regardless, we really need to hang out sometime.

jungle jane said...

and do you ever think to yourself as you stare into the mirror "lordy me, i have large tits"...?

matty said...

Hey, some homeless dude just said this to me.

I was at a loss as to how I should respond.

So, I looked down and ran away crying. ...but I beat him up first.

Yes, I've taken to beating the homeless. I know it isn't nice, but I figure someone's gotta do it from time to time.

matty said...

Oh, Jungle Jane, can't we watch you work? I never got the chance to really escape into the essence of that which is JaneTV.

I await its return with much anticipation.

And, I have to write again --- you are gorgeous! Awesome look -- or as the boys on this street are fond of screaming, "you look FIERCE, honey!"

...and, yes, you do!

Zen Wizard said...

Yes, and I think about how I paid for them with my own hard-earned money, thank you very much!!!

wallycrawler said...

That can't be Afrikaans ! There are no plurals .

jungle jane said...

mugging old ladies is *hardly* hard work, sweetie

actually that is translated as "you stink like a pig". i forgot the afrikaans word for arse and was too lazy to pick up the phone and ask my mum.

every word i print on my blog is COMPLETELY true though, so i will call her tonight and ask.

Is there anything else you would like translated while i am there? my mum knows heaps of rude words in afrikaans i am sure...

Cezi said...

Voce fede como um cu de porco!!!
and tha's how you say it in Brazilian Portuguese!

Zen Wizard said...

I mugged the old ladies on the set of "Kickboxing Grannies."

So don't tell me about an honest day's work...I was mugging old ladies when you were knee-high to a grasshopper, young lady!!

Captain Carl said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
PDD said...

Hmm... that must be the sophisticated way of saying "You smell like a pigs arse" in Italian.

In Italian "culo" means ass and "porco" means pig.

you is "tu" not "Il". "come" means "like"

"Tu putsa come uno culo de porco."

"You smell like a pig's arse."

Please note: porco is masculine. porca is feminine. Also putsa is feminine and putso is masculine. And finally, putso means dick in Greek.

What the hell is this Janie??

Or maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe I am simply uncouth.

jungle jane said...

oh its perfectly fine to beat up the homeless. at least you are not mugging and stealing from old people, like *some* of the readers of this blog.

Jane TV will be definitely be returning sporadically - you just won't know when!

When you get a second could you be a pet and find the Latin translation for "you smell like a pig's arse" please...

Thank you! Thank you! its added to my list and this now means i can visit Brazil!

jungle jane said...

oh i haven't a clue if any of them are right - i don't actually speak italian so all i had was Babelfish to translate for me. Ditto German.

actually the Zulu one is also wrong - that actually means "go fuck a dog". i do not know the zulu word for a pig.

on reflection it appears that my list *could* have a few inaccuracies....

PDD said...

I love the revision!

Fucking right on!

The fact that you revised it along with a thank you and link... I feel like a fucking rock star!!!

I feel like I fit right in with the cool kids! Seriously!

Zen Wizard said...

Odiosus mihis means "To me, you smell"--and that's all you are going to get from me, you TV show cancelling-network executive!!

jungle jane said...

you are TOTALLY a rock star to me! you are!

oh since when did accuracy count for anything in the Jungle. i have even named a whole language after you. i hope it pleases you.

josh williams said...

Very helpful. Americano Feo JW

Captain Carl said...

Arrrr.....How come the Capt dosent get his own language.......is it because ay eat neck holes?......

PDD said...

Not only are you a glamorous rock star to me, you are the biggest brightest celebrity. You trump Madonna.

Mongrel Porksword said...

Während das alles sehr interessante ist, vergessen Ms Jane, nicht, daß ich einen grossen Hahn habe.

FnQueen said...

Thanks for the language lesson for the day. Now I can offend people from many different cultures!! :D

jungle jane said...

Well you know i like to inform and educate...yes sir i do.

Cappy adorable Cappy:
Please urgently send me the pirate words for "you smell like a pig's arse" so that i can add it to my very useful list. of course you can have your own langugage! heck i will even give a whole country!

ohhhhhh and like Madonna i am also similar to a virgin. freaky!

is that language German or it is some type of Penis speak?? Please explain!

you can also show them a picture of a pig's arse and then point to their underarms and wrinkle your nose prettily...

matty said...

You and fnqueen have cool profile pictures. I want to be animated! Oh well.

Big job audition tomorrow for me! Better get to bed!

Henri Banks said...

Mongrel said his weenie smels like a pigs arse !!!

jungle jane said...

i aspire to be as cool as you!

good luck with the interview lovely

ahhhhhh i knew i could rely on you for some good german translation! hurry back from holidays - blogging is empty without you!

Fuckkit said...

"You smell like a pig's arse now gimme yer fuckin money you cunt" would be the North of England (more specifically, Liverpool) way of saying it.

waygon112 said...

What the fuck happened to Jane TV?

no sense having internet access if the best show on the web is gone!!!!!!!!!!

Denny Shane said...

omg... I nearly fell over imagining cezi whispering those words in my ear. whew... she can call me anything she wants. ;)

Captain Carl said...

Arrr....being that Pirates are a scurvy bunch, one cant be to sure if there be a proper way ta say "You Smell Like a Pigs Arse".
So here be how the Cap't might put it to ya...........

"Ye reek like the bottom end of a Boar.....Matey"

"Ye have the stench of a pig's backside....."

Arrr.....can ay have Australia....

Polyman2 said...

That's Martian.

Die Muräne said...

and in Swiss:
du stenksch wienen souarsch

DorianGray1854 said...

"So by that rationale, if a pig had

a better personality, he's cease to

be a filthy animal?"
-Pulp Fiction-

Zen Wizard said...

Wouldn't SWISS people be "NEUTRAL" on the issue of how your ass smells???

Therefore, there would be no phrase in the language for it...

Just like there is no "Vulcan death-grip..."

Tumbleweed said...

I have no idea what that post meant, but I just came to see your pretty face anyway!

Bloodgood said...

Beep Beep is how scooters talk

Hal said...

I am so edified from having read this post.

I think I want to go to the museum now and look at paintings, so that the cultural buzz can be maintained.

kellywalters said...

j.j honey..

Have you missed me?

The insesently intelligent comments and whitty responses?

I know you've missed my elegantly curved fingers tapping away at the keyboard in labor of drumming up something entertaining for you to ingest.

I miss you my friend.

Oh how I missed you while I lay dying in my sickbed.

Oh what it is to be away from that foul smelling refuge and out again with the masses.


dont both of them smell like shit..

matter of fact..i think both my bed and detroit smell like a pigs ass..

man are you ever right on.

Anonymous said...

Anyone who knows better correct me but I believe that 'hola, me llama [name] soy una grande lesbiana con un boca de cono' could be a useful Spanish phrase. Meaning: hello my name is [x] i am a big lesbian with a mouth of cunt. Useful, eh?

Bloodgood said...

Sweet I made it on the Post.
This Beep is for you Jane. BEEEEEPP!!!

jungle jane said...

Gee, so much teamwork. this list has become beautiful.

nice one looking out for our northern bretheren. no list would be complete without a mugging and cunt thrown in. i am sure they a would have said 'fooking' though?

come back this weekened! Jane TV will be making a stunning surprise comeback. you just won't know when. it will be sometime on my Saturday

yes i suspect you are not alone in that. we should get her to do an audio post just for you

Australia is all yours! it is! and i shall be your queen. just mind out for kangaroos, eh? the are a menace on the high waters...

thank god. i was worried for a moment my list would be lacking. now we can offend those on other planets too. i love your work.

Die Murane
now i am taking a leap of faith here - but are you sure the word 'weinen' doesn't have something to do with a penis?

i am thinking of listing that under Hollywood. i you could *just* find me a quite with a pigs arse in it that would be marvellous. you don't have to be entirely factual - truth is not important at The Jungle.

Actually i have it on fairly good authority that there is such a thing as a Vulcan death grip. i think thats another whole blog post though, eh?

its all just words on a page...altough i think i may be the only blog in the world that teaches its readers to swear in Martian...

i would have thought that scooter was more toot toot than beep beep? but who am i to argue - i can only speak sports bike and cruiser....

i wonder if you will feel equally refreshed after my next post? i do hope so!

ohhhhh and here was me thinking it was all fun and games and you were rooting your brains out all week. but meantime you were sweating and sick and dying.

damn. i would have sent flowers had i known.

i hope you feel much better - you have been sorely missed indeed.

Lady muck:
between you and i we SO have Spanish covered. we can also not only do so cross-culture, which are not even sexual-orientation biased. i like that. i like that a lot.

Toby said...

I through out a couch because of a stinky hippy.

American: Get the fuck out of my house!!! You fucking stink!!! Take a bath!!!!!

jungle jane said...

Toby you should have got both the couch and the hippy steam cleaned. Sofa steamers work great on lice-filled dreadlocks...

Toby said...

This guy, invited in by a house guest, took his boots off and killed my house plants.

The next day after forcing my buddy to get stinky guy to leave, my girlfriend and I tried cleaning the couch. We got everything to smell acceptable except where he rested his feet. It was a week later and I was still gaging. It smelled like death and it would not go away. The couch had to go.

jungle jane said...

oh i quite like the smell of death. must be a cultural thing. damn if only i had known - i could have had a free sofa...

Die Muräne said...

"Die Murane
now i am taking a leap of faith here - but are you sure the word 'weinen' doesn't have something to do with a penis? "

wienen, not weinen!
"weinen" means "cry" in german.
But if you like to say, that sometimes a penis makes you cry, then it might be rigth...

jungle jane said...

only if they are really smelly, Die Murane!

Die Muräne said...

So you know others...!

btw the afrikaans word for arse is aars.

Toby said...

No, it wasn't the good death smell.

jungle jane said...

Die Murane:
Nice one. We got the Afrikaans nailed there my friend. thank goodness for that!

so you wouldn't want to bottle it then? what a waste!

Toby said...

I would only bottle it to kill people.

jungle jane said...

I would sniff it to get high. and then kill people...

TFS said...

"Bepa lo inja" is actually "You fuck dogs". Inglube is pig, can't remember what smell is...or arse for that matter...made me smile readin that though, it's been ages since I've sworn in Zulu ;)

jungle jane said...

TFS: yes i noted that one earlier in my comments - i have no idea what the zulu equivalent is so i slipped in the only zulu i could remember which i think is "go fuck a dog". i did ask my mum but she wasn't sure either:-)

Henri Banks said...

Flemisch(Antwerp)gij riekt naar een varken zijn gat