13 March 2006

Barbie goes cave diving




Photo source: unknown

111 comments:

Denny Shane said...

well crapola... even Barbie is getting more action than me now. This really, really sucks. ;(

Steph said...

I have not laughed so fucking hard in AGES. I had to call over all the people in my team to have a look. You've made our Monday. BEST. POST. EVARRRR!!!

Pixie Sprinkle said...

WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE!! I DEMAND ROYALTIES!!

Cezi said...

OMG that's so funny!Now every time I see a barbie I going to remember this--Thanks Jungle jane I see Barbies everyday!!!

jungle jane said...

Denny:
if drowning in a vagina is your thing then yes i guess Barbie's batting average is prolly better than yours:-)

Steph:
Fuck. now your team members are gonna think i have a rude blog...

Carla:
in your dreams do you have such a tight arse, cupcake

Cezi:
It is my duty to inform and educate. my work here is done.

Tickersoid said...

So Ken is not the only c*nt, Barbie has been 'taken in' by.

Motor City Monk said...

Amazing how Barbie looks even prettier stuck in a pussy...go figure.

FLAMINGO1 said...

I'll give you ten bucks if you let me sniff your Barbie.

barman said...

So Barbie is into pussy. Who knew? Now I will have dirty thoughts in my head when ever I see a Barbie. I best stay out of the store eisles that have nothing but Barbies.

Egan said...

[GULP]

Egan said...

P.S. this post will make it hard for me to add you to my blogroll, but you will always have a place in my Bookmarks. This is far more arousing than it should be. Hmmm..

jungle jane said...

Tickersoid
WAHAHAHAHA that is the funniest comment i ever read!!

oh and its okay to say cunt on my blog. i'm australian - its not a swear word here

Motor City Monk:
I think i should change the title of this post to Toxic Shock Syndrome Barie eh?

Barman:
i doubt Barbie was a willing participant. mind you, she does have an eager grin on her face as she sinks into the quicksand...

Egan:
um is that your jaw i found on the floor Egan?

As long as i am in the Blogroll of your Mind i will be happy.

I wonder how many de-linked me today bwahahahahahaha

Mahd said...

Apparently nobody warned Barbie to stay away from strange holes. Oh well, we can have a candlelight vigil for her.

Or maybe that's not such a good idea...

Sweet Lady Jane said...

My son has a G.I. Joe "action figure" as he calls it. He doesn't seem to be much interested in it anymore, didn't realize the multi uses for them. I'll have to see if I can find the little booger.

trueborn said...

Holy Shit Batman!

Thats one stiff figure!

Wait till Ken Hears about this.

Sheri said...

That is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen! God forbid my daughters see this. They'd think Barbie died!

ROFLMAO!

josh williams said...

I think it is cruel to have Barbie Dolls with impossible figures and expect woman to try to live up to this image. Now with these photos I can see soon we will have a fisting Barbie.
I realize its a lot easier to let your figure go and resemble a fist than to become a Barbie, (impossible) proportionally speaking. When fisting Barbie does take off life for today’s woman is going to become much easier. What great strides we are making!
Your Friend and Renaissance man JWW

trueborn said...

talk about gettin head.

Eve said...

Holy SHIT... that takes "muff diving" to a WHOLE new level?!

drunkbh said...

At least she shaved....no winter bush.

ChickyBabe said...

Cr@p!!! That looks like my Barbie!! I'm never talking to her again!

Jerry said...

uh...I'm in.

Cookie said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

jungle jane said...

Mahd:
poor dumb girl doesn't seem to realise that she is about to enter quicksand. she looks quite 'cheerleader' about the whole thing really

Lady Jane:
I worry for your son. it's just not right that he has pornographic toys. i think we should all march in protest at this filth at our local toy shop...

Trueborn:
if the rumours about Ken i heard are true i think you might find that he's hiding in the trademan's entrance...yanno?

Sheri:
Oh gawd they might go to school telling people that they own Vagina Barbie

Josh:
do you think that there is any risk that we will simply be subject to pressure to have skinny fists? i hope not - i like my lumpy non-plastic fist.

NWG:
i think if this trend takes off they will have to make Barbies with eyes that close...

DB:
actually i think she has a very sweet little vagina. and i love how it matches the pink of the Barbie doll...

ChickyBabe:
i would be a LOT more concerned if you thought that it was your vagina...

Jerry:
Right. So i could put your down for one Barbie..uh...up your rectum?? sure. done.

Cookie:
do you need a glass of water? a pat on the back? some Valium?

Mone said...

I want a barbie to, looks like fun...

gav said...

well that's a novel way to get kicked in the guts.

And I thought barbie was only good for acting out hot lesbian actions scenes as a teenager.

Egan said...

Crap, that's my Barbie and my vagina.

tinyhands said...

♪ Hello Dolly! Well, Hello Dolly! It's so nice to have you back where you belong. ♪

jungle jane said...

Mone:
A barbie is what we call a barbeque in australia. Be sure to clarify - i am sure you don't a gas bottle up your pink bits

Gav:
my word. i hope that isn't where you picked up your sexual repetoire?

Egan:
Just a second sonny. it might be your vagina but ChickyBabe assures me its her Barbie. Please explain why you have ChickyBabe's barbie up your lady-parts?

Tinyhands:
i think you might find that sound is a bit mufffled where Barbie is right now. perhaps you could get her attention by tapping her on her hand??

Egan said...

Vive la Barbie!

blog Portland said...

I can relate to Barbie on this one; that is exactly how I used to satisfy an ex-girlfriend.

Egan said...

ChickyBabe will deny this Jungle, but we have met. Her post today was totally about me. Again, she will never admit to any of this.

Egan said...

I need to get off (pun intended) this post now. It's causing problems with my head.

jungle jane said...

Jay:
and is this a picture of your ex-girlfriend? i think the world needs to know who this lass is - i want to see what she can do with a teddy bear...

Egan:
I can happily flick my bean to the thought of some hot guy with long hair but the tank top and g-string were deal breakers for me.

So do you wear tank tops often?

Dora and Tina said...

HOLY SHIT!!! That was the fucking shit right there! I have a Barbie related obsession, but that girl is taking it to a WHOLE new level. I am adding this to my links because I WANT people to see this shit!! Awesome, awesome, awesome!!!!

Cookie said...

OMG, OMG ,OMG! This, this, just can't be... *pant, pant* She's, she's, in her.... OMG, OMG, this is just too much for my virgin eyes!

Denny Shane said...

JJ, it just dawned on me... does this mean Barbie is out of the closet now? Is she gay? bi?

Henri Banks said...

I didnt know vag diving is a barbie sport !!!

wallycrawler said...

Just goes ta show ya blondes do have more fun !

Christi said...

Aww, Jane. I had no idea you were so cleanly shaven. How do you get so close like that?

wallycrawler said...

I keep gravitating back . My love for pussy is so strong .

Jozee said...

Spelunking Barbie. All she needs is a head lamp then she could hit the g spot. ;-)

Polyman2 said...

OMG! She's at it again!
Has anyone seen my GI Joe?

Fuckkit said...

What, you couldnt afford a vibrator?

PDD said...

I haven't yet read violated. Fuck! I will Janey today.

Seriously, My thighs clenched with pain upon viewing barbie. That's not a turn on at all.

PDD said...

I never understood how a woman can stretch that far. That fucking looks painful dude. Owe. Mine needs to be touched and handled gently.

FnQueen said...

Now they need to make the "Talk Dirty To Me Vibrating Barbie"! And dammit the batteries better be included! :D

Egan said...

I have been known to wear tanktops, g-strings, skirts, and capris often. You have a problem with that?

Egan said...

Hey, I braved your blog from work. Hurray for me!

Mongrel Porksword said...

I'm longer and thicker than that doll.

slicknfun said...

hy jane,
just browsing...
nice blog you're having!
cheers

jungle jane said...

Dora and Tina:
My god you do have a thing for Barbie. You would love an ornament I have in my home – it’s a birdcage called Bondage Barbie. Its filled with…erm…’modified’ barbie dolls committing unspeakable acts…

Cookie:
Now just breathe my dear. You too in all your Barbie pinkness can go cave diving. All you need to find is a nice cave and I would assume a bit of lubricant?

Denny:
I was always certain that Barbie was a porn star. I think these pictures confirm my findings. No doubt her PR people would claim she was doing something innocent like trying to retrieve a ball or something. I think you should investigate for the Not So Normal News, Denny.

Henri:
Well is it a sport or is it an art or is it a science? You know us academics could debate this for hours. We have the Commonwealth Games starting on Wednesday – I will check the program and see if I can buy tickets to the Vag Diving event…

Christi:
Well I wish I was. I have no idea how this young lady managed to deplete those hairs without even a tiny hint of ingrown hair. I can only assume the pictures were fixed in photoshop.

Wally:
So. You have a thing for blonde barbies? That’s okay Wally. You can tell us. This is the internet – we’ll keep it secret…

Jozee:
Ah ha! You and Egan must attend the same cave diving school – he informs me that this is another word for cave diving too. How nice that both of you went to the same school!

Poly:
Try checking her arsehole…

Fuckkit:
Well if it was me and I was stuck for a vibrator I would just use a nice piece of over ripe fruit

PDD:
I am sure she didn’t stretch that far – in the second and third pic you can’t see the Barbie’s arms. In the last pic you can. I’m sure it’s a hoax…I fucking hope it’s a hoax…all that synthetic hair can’t be good for one’s PH levels…

FNqueen:
Barbie is so skinny I don’t think she has any space for batteries, unless it’s a watch battery?

Egan:
That mental image is arousing. Please send pictures. My next blog entry will be Egan-Work friendly – even your boss will enjoy it. Please tell me what subject matter is work-friendly for you and I will oblige. I am assuming that anal butt plugs is a no-no?

Mongrel:
Yes but she has better hair

Slicknfun:
Welcome and thank you! you are welcome anytime!

Zen Wizard said...

After the initial shock wore off, I must admit that was pretty funny.

jungle jane said...

Zen i suspect after the Toxic Shock wore off the lady in the picture probably found it very funny too...

Captain Carl said...

Arrr....see.....ay told ya 10inch hard plastic dolls are good fer something......

Egan said...

Correct, anal butt plugs isn't work safe. Let me think. You could blog about what really happens in the Lactation Rooms in offices.

jungle jane said...

Cappy:
10 inch plastic dolls are also good for microwaving for fun. see how they melt. of course i would NEVER do that to you, you little sex object

Egan:
i've already blogged about milk. How about i tackle "how to fuck a porcupine"?

Polyman2 said...

Thanks, found him!
I'll be posting pictures soon...

Egan said...

No, that's too simple. Try again. I am so sly pulling up your site at work. I bet someone taps me on the left should today and says "son, can you come with me to my office." Wagers anyone?

Erin O'Brien said...

Other than Barbie's glorious mane, this woman is utterly void of hair. There is not so much as one speck of razor stubble.

Hm. I imagine she is very proud of this.

PDD said...

Seeing the labia minora stretch to that extent is really hurting me right now. I think I would bleed. That looks fucking painful.

If she keeps inviting Babie in to play she will begin to grow some massive meat curtains; on the threshold of bowls of lasagna.

Denny Shane said...

PDD... bowls of lasagne huh? how original! lol

Jesus Toast said...

I for one would like to comment on what a tight little vagina that person has, Barbie should be glad to be shoved in such a neatly trimmed, very clean and tight pink little twat.

PDD said...

Denny:
Like I said, I love bowl of lasagne so much. Too much. I can't get over it. Ever since you mentioned it... well, I can't get over it.

Jesus Toast:
Keep talking like that, you are turning me on.

Le Chitelier said...

Forget shaving, we're talkin' about a Brazilian wax job here. And a very nice wax job too, I might add.

As for the porcupines, I imagine that their agility is at it's peak whenever they are having sex; those male porcupines really do love to show off.

jungle jane said...

Poly:
Can you make sure you wipe properly?

Egan:
m'okay. i can be flexible. how about i discuss "how to skin a cat". That's hard for me because i am a cat lover...and i swear there will be no shaved pussy pictures. this is, after all, supposed to be an Egan-Work-Friendly post...you can trust me...

Erin:
the bit that amazes me is that her vagina does not look like a road accident after her little prank

PDD:
I greatly suspect that she will emerge from this escapade with little plastic scratches all over the place. more like a raw steak.

Denny:
Yes PDD is full of cooking tips

Toast:
actually barbie has a very neat twat herself. i am not sure how she pees but she is so tight she closed over...

Le Chit:
that would be one very good waxer. they always leave stray hairs when i go...

Denny Shane said...

PDD... I so want to imagine you enjoying that lasagne. Firm noodles being sucked in by your mouth. Your tongue swirling around inside pushing the noodle apart. Little spurts of spaghetti sauce squirting around... ok, geez... I need to stop here... people will begin to think I am a pervert or something. ;)

Fuckkit said...

Now I'm no expert on inserting foreign objects into various orifices, but there does seem to be a distinct lack of lube in this picture.
Oh it may have gone in easy enough, but I wanna see the pictures from when she tried to pull it out again.

Zen Wizard said...

Good one!

I think we should all meet a year from now, in a post-traumatic stress discussion group.

wallycrawler said...

If ya think that's unusual ? My ex would do that with "Tickle Me Elmo" !

jungle jane said...

Denny:
should i be worried that instead of feeling horny i want an early lunch?

Fuckkit:
perhaps she coughed it up?

Zen:
Okay. and lets all each bring a small plastic toy doll yeah?

Wally:
and did it tickle?

Denny Shane said...

Why no Jane, not at all... as a matter of fact I know something you could eat and you'd kinda/sorta kill two birds with one stone.

Chatty said...

...

...

...

I am never speechless.

Jane 1

Chatty 0

ChickyBabe said...

Oh gawd... I'm away for like 10 minutes, and my Barbie is playing with Egan's rude bits which he doesn't have! Or does he...

Yes, Egan, we've met on that beach and I gave you a wedgie!

geezer squeezer! said...

'mummy,why does my barbie smell like kippers been left out in the sun?'

hello jungle. hows gay ole syders?

Cookie said...

But, but, Pastor Brown says that if he ever catches me doing things like that, he will have to spank me!

Egan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Egan said...

Okay, listen here... new post or else I get shit canned. I think you are messing with me by leaving this post up for eternity. It's quite humourous on your part and I acknowledge this. It's a bit arousing, but lets get down to it.

You're fucking with me. You comment on my blog and then I come back here and I see Barbie spelunking. Just plain mean and erotic.

jungle jane said...

Denny:
i bet they both involve lasagne?

Chatty:
i suspect Barbie was somewhat speechless too after that

ChickyBabe:
Egan is ever so nimble to be able to fit your Barbie into his non-existant bits. I can't wait to see what he can do with a train set

Geezer:
You're alive! i thought you may have put your finger in a plug or something.

Sydney is gay. i am outta here - heading back to the UK in 4 months...

Cookie:
Is this the same Paster Brown that lists fucking goats as a hobby? hmmmm?

Egan:
i have a very strict policy that i only blog every second day. of course if you would like to pop over the pond and finish writing my technical specification i am sure i devote time to writing about kittens and balls of wool??

Me said...

It's Muff-Diving Barbie!
I KNEW Barbie was into pussy. NO ONE could dig Ken the way the commercials let on.

YellowSock said...

Jesus Jane, every time you tell me "no one will see these but us" it ends up on your blog. I'm begining to think maybe I should stop letting you take pictures.

jungle jane said...

Meredith:
oh she's a total dyke. but - like george michael - she chooses to pretend that she's entirely heterosexual. i am waiting for the day she gets caught with her pants down in a public loo

Sausage:
Relax. it's art. i said i'd hide the real dirty pictures and i'm good for my word. these are tasteful - its different.

Cookie said...

But, but, Pastor Brown said that they just mistook his wife for a goat!

Toby said...

I can't find ken anywhere.

The Taker of Gist said...

As the Taker of Gist, I can tell you that this is one of the most Gistworthy things I have seen in my days, topped only by the fall of the Roman Empire. Yes, I was alive back then. The Taker of Gist is eternal.

And even back then, Barbie was well known, although she went by the pseudonym "Medusa." Ring any bells?

Erin O'Brien said...

This puts a whole new spin on the phrase "Barbie Dream House"

PDD said...

Janey:
I got my webcam up!
I went online not knowing the world would come attacking. How do I set it up only for my blog. It's up on my blog but I don't want to show the world myself. I just want it strictly for the blog.

God you should have seen all the horny prepupescent punks shouting "show us yourself! Show us yourself!" I had the camera pointing at my closet door.

Candace said...

Words fail me. I never knew Barbie was a muff-diver. Never. And she lived with me for all those years. I wonder if she touched me inappropriately and I've blocked it out. :oP

jungle jane said...

Cookie:
oh well thats okay then. its an easy mistake to make. i make it all the time. i often mistake goats for apples too. poor pastor.

Toby:
I think Polyman might know where ken is. he seems to be...er...suntanned....

Gist:
But in Roman Times i doubt whether women were able to attain such a close shave...

Erin:
How about Barbie's House of Pain??

PDD:
just make sure that you don't make your cam public (its in your settings) and then copy and paste the Stickham code into your blogger template! give me a yell if you need help

Candace:
oh, the makers of Barbie have kept it under wraps for YEARS. only a select few people knew about it but they signed confidentiality agreements.

i am here to blow the lid on Barbie wide open. um. as such.

Captain Carl said...

ay fer one know barbie is bi.....ay knocked her up and had our abortion melted down into a razor....

Le Chitelier said...

Ha! I knew it was your doing when she showed up at my lab in her third trimester!

wallycrawler said...

I kind'a think I got a new kink "Dolly Dip'n" . Ya I'm hooked ! I'm gonna download me some peek-a-boo Barbie porn !

crallspace said...

Damn! That you, JJ?

Me said...

Jane, thanks to you this IS her day in the loo.

matty said...

LOL! I just fell off my bed and spit water all over the floor! That is so funny!!!

Hal said...

I love how Barbie's hands are sticking out of that young woman's pussy, looking as if they are about to clap.

On a somewhat related note, years ago, my roommate in Chicago bought some old porno playing cards at the Maxwell Street flea market. He sent the more offensive ones to his friends with captions. For example, one had a chick with a lit cigarette in her beave with a caption reading, "Smoking is glamrous." Another had a different chick with a vacuum cleaner attachment in her beave with a caption that read, "I hate housework." I searched and searched the internet for anything that might resemble that, and I was unsuccessful, so you will have to engage your imagination for the visual.

These three pictures made me think of that, and made me more than chortle.

jungle jane said...

Cappy:
You use plastic razors? Does that work well on plastic hair?

Le Chit:
I wonder if the babies would have been born with little yellow hats?

Wally:
Have fun - all Barbies appear to come with Brazillian waxes too. bonus.

Crallspace:
I wish i was that...um...flexible. Sadly its not me - i'm not game enough to risk the inevitable injuries that would follow

Meredith:
its one place no-one would think to look during Barbie Hide 'n go Seek

MAtty:
i am glad it was on the floor and not all over your nice new pants...

Hal:
was the chick with the cigarette blowing smoke rings? now that would be clever!

BadGod said...

I am gone for a couple of weeks and I come back to this?

Bra-fuckin'-vo!

wallycrawler said...

I like my "Dolly Dip'n" snatches smooth !

PDD said...

Hal:
I love the "smoking is glamorous" anything with glamour I love.

Polyman2 said...

Hold on Barbie I'm coming!

The Lady Muck said...

LOL at the post and Tickersoids comment. Quality stuff.
Some dark part of me wanted to see if I could do that. I'm calling the mental hospital now...

Hal said...

Janey, she wasn't blowing...smoke rings, that is...

:)

jungle jane said...

Badgod:
you went away for 2 weeks and Barbie committed suicide by vagina

Wally:
do they come in lumpy flavour?

PDD:
she won't think that when she gets a wrinkly vagina from smoking

Lady Muck:
I doubt the mental hospital will help you insert the barbie?

Hal:
oh she was smoking all right

Egan said...

You make me very happy Jane. I'm super sneaky and shit. Did you get your work done?

jungle jane said...

knock yourself out Egan. i even stopped working while i created what i think a monkey looks like...

Hal said...

Speaking of suicide by vagina, Charles Bukowski wrote a short story called "Six Inches," in which this evil woman puts a curse on ol' Henry Chinaski whereby he gradually shrinks to only six inches in length, and he meets the same fate as little Barbie there.

I'm not making this up, by the way. It's in an anthology called The Most Beautiful Woman in Town, and Other Tales of Ordinary Madness.

After seeing this post again, I wonder if you might not be channeling the late great Buk.

geezer squeezer! said...

dude,even though the UK has way cheap pills,its STILL full of poms!!!!
will you be posting LIVE from da UK?

jungle jane said...

Hal:
Wow i think thats what happened to Captain Carl! well its not stopped him having the libido of a 6ft strapping lad!

Geezer:
yeah. thats the whole point! i dunno what will happen to the jungle at first - its going to be a hectic first 6 months i think:-(

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

omg i just threwup after seeing barbie like that.

ICECOLDCOKE said...

where the hell is ken,is he cleaning the uterus