23 March 2006

Fat Cunt Thursday



Happy Fat Cunt Thursday from me and Sausage. We recommend that you spend the evening eating chips and scratching your nuts.

Once you have done that we recommend you swallow a box of laxatives so you can fit into your nice jeans on Skinny Arse Friday.

82 comments:

Mone said...

I'll get the knive!!

Mone said...

Knife???

Henri Banks said...

Wow .... Ladies !!!

Egan said...

I'm full on aroused.

ChickyBabe said...

You need to eat more. Your face isn't fat enough! :P

wallycrawler said...

Thems is some large camel toes !

Fuckkit said...

I don't have nuts. Can I still play?

Egan said...

Camel toes, love it.

Denny Shane said...

geez Janie... I was having "erectial dysfunction" problems before I came here this morning. I may never recuperate now.

jungle jane said...

Mone:
i am terrified of knives but fear i am a little bit too chubby to run away from you...burrrrrrrp....

Henri:
sigh - i guess you want us both, right? together in a nice gang bang?

Egan (1):
i can understand that. me and Sausage are smokin' hot

ChickyBabe:
yeah i know - both Sausage and i (as you can see) constantly just *totally* forget to eat the whole time. and our metabolism is real quick too....

Wally:
you like? i keep telling sausage she should wear some nice black tights to accentuate her gunt...

Fuckkit:
yeah for sure. Sausage has nuts but i doubt she's been able to reach them for years. you can play with hers if you like?

Egan (2)
actually technically i think its a gunt - not quite a gut, not quite a cunt - the Gunt

Denny:
sweetie no! are you saying you don't find us two hotties fuckable? dude! you really do have a problem!

The Lady Muck said...

Well, I have to say I do find that slightly erotic. You're hot.

unregistered text offender said...

shit that the funnyest thing i ever did see try taking a shit you might lose some wait.

www.thereplacementblog.blogspot.com

Toby said...

Find a fold and fuck it.

DorianGray1854 said...

Sex with this, the physics are mind boggling. Your still dead sexy!!

PDD said...

Oh my god Janie! I thought you said you'd rather be miserable and cold hanging with your mates in Europe than moving to America?? What made you change your mind? If you stay there any longer your stomach is going to quickly grow as big as Sausages. By that point you will be too big to move to Europe. Might as well roll over to Canada. I don't know how I am going to lift your stomach to perform oral sex on you. I am really not that strong. Perhaps I can pitch it up with a stick and go camping. I'll show you the stars. I'll send you to the moon.

josh williams said...

If you have problems your knees, I can offer some advice. Hmmmm Lard. Last I heard Indianapolis was the 10th fatest city in the US so, you aint welcome here scarecrow!(s) Were shooting for #1!

Polyman2 said...

I guess when you gals
lie around the house-
you lie around the house.

...and I've got a chubby.

Henri Banks said...

ofcourse i want you both ,i just visit my doctor and she told me i´m tooo fat i have to do some sport !!?

kellywalters said...

can I scratch your nuts?

Zen Wizard said...

I would be very hungry right now. If I were an Eskimo.

Tickersoid said...

There's a 'fat cunt Thursday'? I thought it was 'half naked Thursday'.
I've only just got used to 'Cockblogging Wednesday'.
Is there a 'Shitfaced Saturday', or a 'Slobfaced Sunday'?

Le Chitelier said...

Is that an ass in the background? Or a horse?

FnQueen said...

Can I still participate if I eat chips and scratch my camel toe?

Me said...

As a matter of fact that is JUST what I was planning on doing with my evening. I was thinking I needed to be a fatter cunt.

gav said...

mmmm, footy muff

Brookelina said...

Can I borrow those pants sometime?

wallycrawler said...

"Man ya gotta big cunt cunt cunt cunt..." !

That's my echo . Get it ?

Bloodgood said...

More cushion for the pushin...right? Its not fair you girls got a head start, now Im gonna have to eat for three weeks straight just to catch up.

Bloodgood said...

You ever seen those fat twins on the scooters?

Erin O'Brien said...

Okay, Jane darling, so you gained a couple of pounds. You as beautiful as ever.

Camy Leon said...

Thas DEAD Sexxaaaay!

I will be eating nuts and scratchin... uhh no. ;-P

YellowSock said...

Geez Jane, all the time I spend photoshopping to look skinny and you reveal the real me to the world.

Ah, fuck, I guess I can spend my time developing a proper ass-wiping extension stick now.

The Taker of Gist said...

Alert the press!

No reason. Just because.

Jerry said...

oh boy am I in for a treat!!!!!!

We'll go to WAL-MART for Dinner...they have pork rinds on sale.

jungle jane said...

Lady Muck:
Yeah we know. We’re on fire. But we try not to overplay our looks – after all our brains match our good looks and we would hate people to think were are merely attractive show ponies

Text offender:
Lose weight? God. Do you think we need to? I am not sure we do…I think we are both quite fine fillies

Toby:
I am not sure that either of us can see past our chins. Come to think of it, I am not even sure either of us can stand up anymore, let alone start poking things into flesh folds

Dorian:
I am glad that you still want to be my toyboy. Do you fancy a go at my friend sausage too? She’s a bit chunkier than me but she has a nice firm grip…

PDD:
Oh I think it’s the size the portions in the USA – but I have some way to go before I give Sausage a run for her money. I don’t want to be mean or anything but she really should think about doing a few situps. Perhaps we can arrange a crane to lift my belly while you are showing me the moon and the stars?

Josh:
Feed me, dammit. I want to own Indianapolis and if I have to eat more burgers and shag a few mole people…well dammit I will do it. Please ask Roscoe to send food

Poly:
Well you know us laydees. We do like a nice slothful weekend. As a matter of fact I think we both have chubbies too – these are mens bodies after all

Henri:
Your doctor is fibbing. You don’t need to do sport. You just need to come and play with us two lovely ladies. Please bring hamburgers and peanuts. We get hungry a lot

Roxi:
If you can find them, please do. Last time in saw mine they were trapped in the folds of my gunt

Zen:
I know you are hungry zen. Hungry with mad lust for me and sexy sausage. You don’t have to pretend zen. Its okay for you to think porn when you see us.

Tickersoid:
I just made up a fat cunt Thursday. I had to do something because I am too fat to appear naked. As far as I am aware there is a Sheep Humping Friday and a Cross Dressing Monday?

Le chit:
I am not terribly sure – I am far to large to turn my head that far. I would however like to snack on a horse if there is one going??

Fnqueen:
Oh yes, absolutely. In fact you should do both at the same time. Chew/scratch/burp…chew/scratch/burp. Get a rhythm going, you know?

Meredith:
Well if that’s your real picture all I can say is which one is you and which one is the broom? you should do nothing but eat chips this whole year…that’s what I would do if I were you….

Gav:
Who are you perving at? Me or sausage? Or both? perhaps you would like to do some webcamming with us both sometime??

Brooke:
My god girl, get a meal – such little legs you have there. I have found that men *do* like a girl with a bit of meat on her and a nice jiggly arse…

Wally:
I keep hearing your voice coming out of my pants….have you got lost down there?

Bloodgood:
Sausage and I have never ridden a scooter. May we borrow yours? We’ll bring it right back. Sausage – you wanna drive or go pillion?

Erin:
Yes but I think the extra pound or two suits me, don’t you? these skinny supermodels who look like they are going to snap in half really sacrifice their face for their arse

NP4U
Yup, we know. we are modest though and make sure that we don’t flaunt ourselves too much in the gym and on the beach and stuff. I think its important to remember that its not just looks that count…

Sausage:
You know, I think that you should just be comfortable with the looks God gave you. People will still like you if they know how hot you are – seriously. No-one thinks badly of you because you look like a supermodel.

And yeah, a bum wiping extension is a good idea – I don’t think its nice that you use the cat to wipe.

Oh, how did that stretch-mark cream work, by the way? I wasn’t sure if it would do anything on the bumhole….

Gisty:
A photo opportunity should never be overlooked. Will you join us for the shoot? A girl can never have too much gist…

jungle jane said...

Jerry:
yeah if you met me the next day you could take Sausage out too. but i guess that's too much of a handful for one guy, huh??

josh williams said...

Roscoe, send food! Jane is running for queen of Indinan-fucking-apolis! Jet her over some White Castles and Onion Chips! Jane you may suffer great gas in this endeavor and the gas may damage you and your loved ones lungs but it would be an honor to have you as Queen of Indianapolis, if only for a day and then the world, ya know?

jungle jane said...

Josh i am totally down with a bit of farting. even the queen farts, right? fuck - send garlic chips too. and a giant tiara.

i'm just off to guzzle some beer while i wait for the chips to arrive. i need to keep my strength up....

Captain Carl said...

Arrrr.....ay want ta make a skinny Janey and Sausage Sandwich ta pick me teeth with.......

Pixie Sprinkle said...

oh well i ALWAYS knew that Jane and Sausage were full of shit.

Can your bikinis be *any* tinier you two? shees, talk about leaving nothing to the imagination like me...

so lacking in class and decency...

Le Chitelier said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Le Chitelier said...

You know, the best way to loose weight is to just plain die. Yes, after seventy years of dieding I have managed to get myself down to an even 42 pounds.

jungle jane said...

Cappy:
well we don't appear to have much meat anymore so i guess all we are good for is picking teeth. and maybe body doubles for Paris Hilton?

Carla:
how is that dose of the clap healing? i can smell those scabs from here you know

Le Chit:
You know all it took was a bit of willpower and a whole bunch of loo paper. i have no idea why people complain about it being hard to lose weight.

Sausage even gained a tattoo in the process. You know you should have simply had a nice dump - killing yourself all those years ago did nothing for your complexion and all that sitting around in coffins is so bad for your muscle tone...

Henri Banks said...

I think i have to cook for you two more than once,ganbang in that condition is dangerous you may fall apart or i hurt myself !!

Jerry said...

fuck will you stop that shit!!!!!!

PDD said...

Janie I am pissing my pants with laughter!!!! Skinny Fries days is a bit of a concern for me... how will you straddle once last call is over and eveyone is thrown out? It's just as difficult as being 5000 lbs.

Good Luck I guess

Man you really need to leave America. That country destroyed you. In all aspects.

Jerry said...

jjane I got sausage enuf...hahahaha besides let's just check it out and see....ok?

If I let you down you can post about it....openly yes?


hahaha...wow I'm giving you carte blanche...hahahahaha...this is new...hahaha too funny

ICECOLDCOKE said...

i would recommend the mars bar and lager diet for ass expansion.chicken wing bones seem to be the new celebrity look and its truly awful,bring back the beef i say.great pic,great site, and all the best jungle.

ICECOLDCOKE said...

regarding the fat,i would use the hoover method and shove the pipe down the throat and suck up all excess gluttonous lipiditis whalemeat,you may find if you continue with the pork pie diet your bum will rip through jeans everytime you sit down.i hope this helps.

Tickersoid said...

Sheep shagging Friday and Cross dressing monday? Good, that's two days of the week I can relax on.

Vest said...

Thanks for sticking it up scumbag and standing up for Strayer.

I think you would both look better if you stopped the process halfway.

Steph said...

Ack. The skeletons are coming! The skeletons are coming! Flee. Flee i tell you!

Has that guy got a boner?

jungle jane said...

Henri:
gees you blokes are never happy. we might poke your eye out or something but surely its worth it for some hot luvin??

Jerry:
Dude we are here to amuse you. Um i think you may have got your sausages confused - i was not proposing we have anything to do with your sausage..i was referrring to my friend Sausage...

icecoldcoke:
oh very useful tips thank you. so i can drink heaps of lager, chow down a bunch of vindaloo and then get the hoover out i should be okay
?

Tickers:
i just heard the entire world sheep population burst into tears.

you heartbreaker...

jungle jane said...

Vest:
i stuck it up a scumbag? did i? ohhh...did he enjoy it?

Stephy:
we are not skeletons - we just work out a lot. sniffffffff. in toilets. snifffff. with rolled up dollar notes....sniffffffffffff

Denny Shane said...

...and I thought I had problems when I came here yesterday.... now I'm not claiming to be HUGE, if you get my drift, but I could go in one end and come out the other with a few inches left over, looking at those latest pictures.

The Lady Muck said...

YE GADS! it's the human dental floss! I see a catwalk career beckoning!

Polyman2 said...

Umm...ladies?
I think the diet worked. You now make Biafrians look good.

josh williams said...

Sausage said: All I remember is that poor monkey pulling the cork out of Janes ass

Jane said: All I remember is that poor monkey pulling the cork out of Suasage's arse.

Now cork in, on the couch and start eating Thursday is just around the bend.

wallycrawler said...

Hey they look sexy to me ! I like'em hot and thin .

You guys make anorexia sound like a bad thing ?

Toby said...

I read somwhere yesterday some female drinks her pee to make herself throw up. I guess after a while the throat becomes desensitized to the finger.

Le Chitelier said...

I must say, in the second pic, those bikini's are a little too small for you. You two need to lose more weight.

Jesus Toast said...

First off, can a cunt actually have its own fat? I mean, does the cunt actually swell up like one's stomach does? I think it stays the same size no matter how big the person surrounding the cunt gets.

Secondly, the skinny pic was H O T.

AndyT13 said...

Nice work! LOL You're fabulous Jane Ann! I changed my name from Edward Paul to Andrew Paul. Too many Edwards in my family! Not a big change but there you go.

tracy said...

That's the best shit I've seen all week!

jungle jane said...

Denny:
that sounds pretty huge to me...

Lady Muck:
yes we are models. On a thursday we are plus size models

Poly:
actually we didn't go on a diet. we just took heaps of drugs and spent a bit of time on the toilet...the weight simply dropped off us.

Josh:
i am quite sure that i will be able to gain at least 140kg by thursday. the question is: who will be joining me as my guest next week??

Wally:
well it seems to work for Paris Hilton. Actually me and Sausage were thinking of releasing a sex tape too

Le Chit:
well we are thinking we might get bigger bikinis. and lose more weight

Toast:
oh plenty people have fat cunts - the tissue surrounding the cunt is included in that. i have seen many gunts in my lifetime. i am going to do a coffee table book on them one day. hopefully Josh will review it

Andy:
Wow so you are actually Eddyt13? how cool are you! andrew is a nicer name i think - and well done for being brave enough to do it...

Tracy:
my word, i am exhausted from sucking my cheeks in...i can't wait to exhale!

Hal said...

Oh man, I'm gonna spoo!

Egan said...

Ready when you are.

wallycrawler said...

OK I'm all for two anorexic chicks go'n at it , that sounds real good to me !

You two twigs be careful not to "dove fuck" too hard , ya might cause a "bush fire" !

Tumbleweed said...

That is nasty baby, just nasty!!

Vince said...

Never thought I'd see the day when I'd pick chubby over skinny...

Toby said...

Back in the early 80's when it was realized AID's wasn't just a "gay man's" disease and was rapidly becoming and epidemic, U.S. Weekly News had an article about fat becoming the preference. The article even went on about past plagues and held prints of famous old paintings depiciting naked fat women. AID's causing the infected to slowly decompose would mean a "fat" person didn't have the virus.

Toby said...

It was News Week, not US Weekly News.

Brookelina said...

Where are your tits?

Le Chitelier said...

It's time for those implants we talked about.

Candace said...

That's a seriously dangerous diet to lose that kind of wight in 1 day!!

I think the girls on top need to share a burger with those on bottom. How the hell do the bottom girls still have boobies?? Implants Lite™??

madman said...

WOW! were did ya get the picture of my little sister?

ChickyBabe said...

Nah! Keep the weight on. More of you to play with... hehe!

jungle jane said...

Hal:
you know you want us

Egan:
kill your damn firewall

Wally:
you are a man with good taste

Tumbleweed:
ah. you must be jealous of our good looks. right? right?

Vince:
well all it takes is one night of dieting

Brooke:
fuck. i think we dieted them away

Le Chit:
just gimme the botox. the rest is just science

Candace:
We only eat burgers on a wednesday

Madman:
we hacked your computer. next week your mum will be on our blog

ChickyBabe:
Well the camera added 10 kilos. us girls have to suffer for our looks...

matty said...

The Karen Carpenter look is so tired, but I love the chips and scrathing nuts look!

I know, I know that we all want to be thin and gorgeous but there is something pleasing about the feel of a full body. Curves are nice.

Why does the fashion industry make us so worried about them?

Oh, and I was chatting with a mutual friend last night and we both agreed that you're both beautiful and so intellligent.

Can you forward along some of those smarts and beauty my way, please? My hope it to date further up on the dating chain.

matty said...

...and one of these four guys who have been looking at your blog with me seems to think he is higher up on that chain-o-dating. ...and, he just isn't.

but the boy at the table in front of me is! However, he appears to be married to this guy who is even further down the chain than me!! ??? ...I guess he must have money.

sighing heavily from gay town usa

Maja said...

I love you just the way you are...

Spinning Girl said...

You are a trip.