13 May 2006

JJ screensaver






To download your JJ screensaver click this link
and say yes to all the prompts.
.

80 comments:

Denny Shane said...

that is simply amazing... I am in awe... I bow down before you. Hey, while I'm down here could you move a little closer...

Vince said...

Incredible!!! I even tried to cheat and said the Ace of Diamonds--And you took that away too!

Henri Banks said...

who cares about the cards i just saw that Pretty girl !!! :-)

jungle jane said...

Denny:
A magician does not get too close to her audience. We are too magical.

Vince:
Yes I have such advanced magical powers I was able to read your mind and remove the Ace that was never there in the first place.

Henri:
That is also part of the magic. I have altered your mind to see a picture of a beautiful woman. Clever, huh?

Henri Banks said...

you cheater !!

Ernesto Brabazoni said...

I didnt see the ace were is my ace ?

mooncrap said...

i choosed all six and i did not work ?
Now i am confused and got no erection!

Motor City Monk said...

I hate magic. It makes me feel so inferior. Should I seek therapy?




How'd you do dat?

jungle jane said...

Henri:
nonononon not cheating...it's magic. I am magic. I have special powers

Ernesto:
I think you are sitting on your ace

Mooncrap:
You only need to stare at the pretty lady if you want your erection back. stare into her eyes and think of cards.

Monk:
No therapy - us magicians don't mean you to feel inferior. We just want you to worship us.

barman said...

Very good Jane but if you could realy read my mind I think you would be doing something other than remove my card.

What you got up your sleaves Jungle Jane?

Pixie Sprinkle said...

I can do a very clever trick where I can make money disappear from mum's purse...

MJ said...

Look into my eyes. Look into my eyes. The eyes. The eyes. Not around the eyes. Don't look around my eyes. Look into my eyes... You're under.

wallycrawler said...

I'm a student of magic , ya can't fool me !

"psst where'd da jack of diamonds go" ?

Jesus Toast said...

I didn't see you boobs once during the whole magic show. YOu also didn't touch my cock. You're not a very magician.

jungle jane said...

Barman:
yes i read that thought too but this is a family oriented blog so i decided to just hide your card instead...

Pixie:
that was monopoly money deary

MJ:
have...been...hypnotised...must...give...you...all...my...money...

Wally:
pssst its right here in my knickers...you want it back??

Toasty
oh yes i did. you just missed it while you were looking for your card...

wallycrawler said...

Yes please , mam .

~d said...

crack. too much of it last night. and pills. thought they were Advil, but I must have been mistaken. Where DID my card go?!

~d said...

I don't fucking get it. I know there has to be a way around this, but I don't fucking get it.
( Pixie can make $$$ disappear out your purse? )

Brookelina said...

I've learned to never click your links.

Motor City Monk said...

Sorry Jane, I can't worship you...but I will suckle your toes, if you like.

PDD said...

That is hilarious Janie! I am bawling with tears!!

But seriously, how does it work? I tried it a few times and everytime it works. That's really cool.

I especially love "Look into my eyes while I enter your mind via your nose"

Hilarious!!

PDD said...

how does this work. This is so neat.

jungle jane said...

Wally:
Okay then but its a little bit grubby i'm afraid

~d:
Its magic. Not even too much crack is a match for my magical mystery

Brooke:
sigh. so jaded.

Monk:
Okay start with the toes. I hope you don't mind if i boss you around. Toes need to be worshipped in a certain way.

PDD:
oh but thats how i do it. i enter your mind via your nose and then observe your thought patterns. you are no match for my powerful mind and magical abilities PDD.

josh williams said...

I never did see the two of clubs my all time favorite, even since I was a wee lad I loved the duece of clubs I mean all the way back, but I did not see it here so I could not pick a card so I foiled your black magic. Put that in your wizard pipe and smoke it!

jungle jane said...

Josh well d'uh. Of course i knew that - why do you think you didn't see it? see my trick was so clever that I removed your favorite card even before the trick started.

Beat that, Einstein.

Oh and by the way its very dirty inside your nose. i have boogers all over my hair now.

Henri Banks said...

please use your magic for other thing like beam me up to austrelia so i can help you with packin your bags ;-)

Henri Banks said...

please use your magic for other thing like beam me up to austrelia so i can help you with packin your bags ;-)

Denny Shane said...

Actually at one time I knew how to do this but since the strokes I think that part of the brain was erased.

Hey wait a cotton picking minute. I didn't mean to come here... isn't this Saint Ignatius Church?

wallycrawler said...

Let's see and I'm not afraid !

Zen Wizard said...

You really have a gift.

You should nourish it.

jungle jane said...

Henri:
What do you say i use my magic to get the bags packed on their own and then you and i are free to go to the pub!

Denny:
Oh yes, this is a church. and you have arrived JUST in time to put your contribution into the collection box. I am sure Killer won't mind his funds being donated for a good cause

Wally:
are you sure? its a little bit slimey at the moment...

Zen:
Well us wizards should be encouraged I think. I hope one day you can show me a trick or two...

ChickyBabe said...

Hmm... if you're inside my brain, can you tell me what I'm thinking?

Egan said...

You're the new David Blaine.

Henri Banks said...

LETS DO IT !!!

gav said...

I thought my flat-screen monitor was pretty damn sexy before.

BUT NOW ... !!!!

Jozee said...

Happy Mother's Day JJ! Will you be locking Pixie in the closet for a little break?

~d said...

Happy Mother's Day, JJ. Have fun slaughtering a pig...warm thoughts of apples in pigs mouths to you and Pixie {{{{{}}}}}

NATEMARE said...

Hmmm. I picked the 2 of spades, but it wasn't on any of the screens...

NATEMARE said...

BTW - there's going to be a few computers are work tomorrow with the uber screensaver ;-)

Karen Little said...

Oh my gawd! Not even my thoughts are safe from Jane anymore! I thought I'd trick virtual-you by imagining more than one card, but you made both of them disappear disappear! You truly are magic, Jane.

matty said...

That is so cool! How did you know????

Jungle Jane -- You are my hero! Now, please -- leave my brain. You're causing quite a commotion up there! And, I've only a few cells left so we have to take care!!!!

Tickersoid said...

I know how it's done! I do, I do, I do, honestly I do!!

frobisher said...

Amazing stuff - I can do tricks to!

jungle jane said...

ChickyBabe:
Being inside someone's brain is a bit like going to the doctor - there is a client/patient confidentiality thingy i cannot break. Its an important part of my professionalism that i never reveal the contents of people's brains. I can say, however, that your mind is very...er..."creative"...

Egan:
David Blaine studies my moves for his show. Of course i am not so tacky that i would seek publicity like he does. My magic is pure. not tacky and full of commercialism.

actually. come to think of it. i don't know who david blaine is. i only know that Copperfield geezer.

Henri:
YAYAYAYAY! See how cool it is to hang out with magic people??

Gav:
Now you don't have to watch boring television again. You can watch your monitor instead with me endlessly repeating my magic. Let me know when its your birthday Gav so that i can make you a screensaver of me jumping naked out of a cake.

Jozee:
Thank you!! Pixie and i had a lovely day. I sat on a branch with my feet up all day while she brewed all the beer and slaughtered a pig for us both. She even gutted it, stuffed and threw it on the fire, bless her. Not bad for a 6 year old who isn't even human.

I hope you had a great day with your two beautiful ladies Jozee. Did they also slaughter a pig for you?

~d:
Thank you and very happy mothers day to you too. Did your boys kill anything in your honour? pixie was so cute - she brewed up a 20 litre jug of beer as a surprised and the two of us drank it all. The pig was so yummy...even if it was half raw. ah well - its the thought that counts right?

Nate:
Yes but say it out aloud? It’s very important to call a spade a spade. I LOVE the idea of you putting my screensaver all over your work computers. Perhaps I could make one especially for your company? How about a close up shot of my butt-hole performing a loud fart to the tune of God Save the Queen? Like a singing arse? We can install that on your boss’s PC first?

Karen:
Ah! I was hoping you would come along, Little-Miss-I-Can-Prescribe-Cool-Drugs! Now. You are a doctor and all. Perhaps you can help me find a way to enter people’s minds other than through their nose? Its just the nasal cavaties are full of snot. Tell me – do you think there would be any terrible side affects if I entered via people’s bums? After all, many men think with their dick and others simply talk through their arse. So maybe I am aiming for the wrong part of the body?

Matty:
I am not just a sex goddess cum rock star. I am also magical. I hope that you have been enjoying the results of me waving my wand – the lovely man you have been dating recently? I cannot tell you how my trick is done because its not a trick. Its magic. Oath.

Tickers:
Of course you do. That’s because I told you how it was done when I was in your mind earlier. Oh and by the way could you trim your nose hairs please? It was like stomping through a forest when I was trying to get to your brain earlier…

Frobisher:
This is not a trick! It’s magic. I have powers. Tricks are what imposters like that Copperfield fellow do. My power is different, although its quite hard to pull off when people have a cold. All that wading through snot to get to the mind. Its not healthy.

Henri Banks said...

SIS your Cool !!

Erin O'Brien said...

I figgered it, Janebaby.

But I will not tell!

For all of you out there, it is easy, easy, easy, to see how it is done.

Jane, let's go get a good stiff drink then ... or something.

jungle jane said...

Henri:
Erin is joining us for a good stiff....drink...:-)

Erin:
yes a stiffy is just what i need.

actually the trick is so lame and obvious i thought everyone would rumble me immediately - i am very surprised that everyone is pretending not to know how its done:-)

wallycrawler said...

You sure that's slime ? What color is it ?

jungle jane said...

Wally its brown. Funny, huh? i never knew slime came in brown. Just a sec, lemme taste it...

Le Chitelier said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Le Chitelier said...

Yay! Now I have a new screensaver to stump everyone with! And it has my favorite color on it: PURPLE!!!

Oh and Jane, I entered your mind through your ear and now I know how the trick works. But don't worry I won't tell :)

Le Chitelier said...

Oh yeah, and the ear is actually a good way to get to people's brains. Earwax doesn't get in your way nearly as bad with most people as snot and nose hairs and you just have to puncture to eardrum to get past it.

jungle jane said...

Le Chit:
Yayayayay that means i get to read your mind all day long? FANTASTIC! imagine what our collective thoughts will be??

Actually i was thinking about entering via people's arses seeing as most people talk shit and think with their dicks/vaginas?? all you have to deal with there is a wee bit of poo...

PDD said...

check this out. I am simply pdd. I love it!

josh williams said...

I have about three decks of cards laying around the house and two others that have not have not had the seal broken. A total of five decks and none of them have the two of clubs! My nose is as pristine as a swiss alpine morning. How did you steal all my two's? You ...you scare me. Kind Regards JW

PDD said...

Janey! Your reading is up!

~d said...

Jane: my boys DID a wonderful sacrifice in honor of me! How very kind of you to ask.

DorianGray1854 said...

You fit in through my nose and it does not even hurt, thats magical>> how delicate of you. I'm imagining the possibilities of this kind of delicacy.

Henri Banks said...

sis save my erin just want to have sex with me !!!

gav said...

Let me know when its your birthday Gav so that i can make you a screensaver of me jumping naked out of a cake

It's ... ummmmm... *cough* ... tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow.

matty said...

Keep waiving that wand my way! Things are going really well with "B"!!!!!

"ohhh, ohhh, ohhh -- it's magic! You know!..."

is that magic with a c or a k?

Maja said...

It is now my new screensaver. Lovely!

Fuckkit said...

Gimme my bloody card back you damn theiving pikey.

jungle jane said...

PDD:
woooooohooo - see what a whole bunch of peer pressure can do?!

Josh:
there is a large black market in two of spades. i usually steal them directly from the factory which means there are millions of decks of cards out there with NO two of spades Josh. And i am very very rich as a result.

~d:
ohhhhh did your boys also slaughter a pig for you ~d? or did they go for something more exotic like a bald headed eagle?

Dorian:
thats not the only place i am able to infiltrate, dorian. I have been living in your bladder for the past month too. its wet and smelly in here...

Henri:
Well we can hardly blame her, now can we? after all i am your sister and i want to jump your bones too

Gav:
fuck. i got in too late tonight and all the cake shops are closed. perhaps i can do something like jump out of a toilet? would that work for you??

Matty:
you know where that wand has been, right? oh well - no matter - it seems to be working very well all the same. I might just give it a little wipe down before i try new spells on anyone else in case the turn them into gay male with a hunky new partner...

Maja:
YAYAYAYAYAYAY! i promise you that its amusing for at least 7 minutes. After then i expect to hear the sound of a smashing computer.

Next screensaver will be my lovely daughter...everyone is very curious to see photos of her...

Fuckkit:
You're in convict country girly - get used to it, snivelling Pom. snark snark...

*wonders when Fuckkit will notice her wallet has gone too*

Karen Little said...

The arse is an excellent port of entry - us medical folk us it all the time - but be warned that you'll have to wade through about seven metres of shit, a bag full of hydrochloric acid, and wriggle past people's tonsils before you finally get to the brain. Also, upon passing through the anus you are in sever danger of being immediately expelled again. Entering via the nostrils is a somewhat less complicated journey..

For a really short, and virtually goo-free trip, however, you could enter via the eyeballs. People are really indiscriminate when it comes to their eyes - they let piles of crap squeeze in via the pupils, and always believe what they see.

BEAST said...

The Beast crawls from sick bed

Hello JJ (he croaks)

Crawls back again

Kirstin said...

THAT IS TOO WEIRD> I am SO freaked out. HOW? HOW????

No, really, please tell me how! I have done it over and over like 20 times. I tried to fool it even but it always worked.

PLEASE TELL ME!

Kirstin said...

OH MY GOODNESS I FEEL STUPID, Please ignore the last comment!

Toby said...

I distinctly remember picking the 4 of hearts.

Brookelina said...

70.

josh williams said...

I've got a new money making scheme all it requires is you and a number of woman to lie to the press and say I was their pimp. K?

PDD said...

72

morbid misanthrope said...

Nice trick. But I always pick the Ace of Spades, even if it isn't an option.

gav said...

perhaps i can do something like jump out of a toilet? would that work for you??

A cake would have been nice - but to be honest - the naked bit of your offer was what I was particularly interested in, not the object from which you jump.

So yes, a toilet is fine. Please make sure it is pre-flushed though - we wouldn't want to see any cling-ons.

matty said...

JungleJane -- Please wave the dirty wand over toward Ing -- she needs strength and the power to knock down esteem-destroying parents!!!

YellowSock said...

76

Die Muräne said...

@kirstin: too much Amsterdam?
But yes, i will really try hard to ignore that all :-D

Toby said...

84

jungle jane said...

Karen:
Yes i entirely agree about the arse being a fantastic poing of entry for drugs - i ALWAYS shelve my exctasy tablets up the back door - so much less stomach acid to deal with and you're off your nut within 15 minutes. I might do a screensaver of my shoving pills up my arse. i think it will be arty.

Beast:
Oh while you are crawling around, fix me a bacon butty and a cuppa, will you deary?

Kirstin:
Deep breaths, deep breaths. Be calm - its only my magic at work here. I cannot tell you - i am mystical and mysterious and...oh..hang on...i see you figured it out. bugga.

Toby:
Impossible. I have no heart. They never feature in my decks.

Brooke? PDD? Sausage? Toby?
95

Morbid:
fuck. I usually wipe my arse wtih the ace of spades. what a fucking co-incidence, right??

Gav:
fuck. You snooze you loose. Oh well - remind me again in 364 days time. pointless doing it now seeing as your imaginery birthday is just about over, right??

Matty:
Pixie has the magic wand - i have the mystical mental powers. and great tits. but i guess that doesn't help ing?

fuck. i might have to brew up a special spell for her...leave it with me, matty

Die Murane:
nonono kirstin is just VERY impressed with my supernatural powers of magic stuff. not magic mushroom stuff.

Dora and Tina said...

Just wanted to drop you a line to say that your screen saver has given the students in my class *hours* of fun to try and work out.

One boy turned to me and said "She's SOOOOOOO magical!" and his friend said, "it's her hair. She has magical hair".

xx
D