Vulva. Penis. Rectum.
Hands up those of you whose parents used those words to describe your genitals when you were a kid? It seems to me that I am the only person I know whose parents didn't teach their child words such as noo-noo, wee-wee or poo-poo to refer to their junk.
Mind you although my parents did have the balls to call a twat a twat and a knob a knob, I have to say I can't remember them ever needing to say out loud the words 'clitoris' or 'scrotum' in my entire life. And of course like all good parents, they did lie to me prolifically in other areas – my mother solemnly assured me my entire childhood that chopping onions made you cry black tears. I was 18 years old when I discovered that it was her mascara running.
So how is it that kids finally find out that the anatomically correct name for a doodle is in fact a cock? And armed with their newfound biology knowledge do they confront their parents and demand the truth, or does this become a taboo subject that is simply never discussed? If so, does this mean that families continue to call their genitals silly names long after the child has grown up? Do you – the adult – use your embarrassing childhood words to describe your nasties when talking to your parents now to this day? As a parent what words do you intend using on your own children?
Maybe we should just cut the crap and refer to all genitals when speaking to children under 10 as “Cheeseburgers”, yeah?