Look I know that this Salmon Rushdie geezer is one of yours and that you are proud of his achievements, but wake up and smell the coffee dudes…stop all of your jubilant fucking flag burning celebrations and national pride about his stoopid knighthoot - the dude is a majorly shit writer, okay?
Fuck, I can already feel those flames licking at my feet – but seriously you lot. You’ve spent the past 10 years awarding him with Fatwas. Why? Why? It’s not like he’s David Beckham or anything. Why do you continue to hero worship him? There are plenty more people that deserve one of them Fatwas. Like Mother Theresa. She came from your neck of the woods – where is her fekking Fatwa and debauched party?
It's not like me to be political or anything, but before you go bestowing lavish ass-licking honours on people like him I politely suggest that you actually try to read one of his books. They are B-O-R-I-N-G.