01 June 2007

JJ gets into contortionism




62 comments:

Mongrel Porksword said...

I can do better.

Jenny! said...

Yeah, but can you stick your tongue in your ass???

Gorilla Bananas said...

You've got some pretty good software and I'm not talking about your clit.

jungle jane said...

Porkie
you don't have a clit. unless that's a strapon you are posing with?

Jenny!
Fuck. I wrap my face around my twat and yet still my public want more. God, its hard being pleasing you lot

GB
oh you've noticed what lovely hair i have? wow. i didn't realise you were gay...

Sausage said...

I know this guy in Vegas who could make you a star Jane. As if you weren't already.

barman said...

If I lick your twat or stick a tongue in your ass... can I be called a contortionists? I might need to make a trip across the big pond!

Very nice pictorial JJ, I am most impressed and a little excited. :)

~d said...

BULLSHIT! You took that pic that we PINKY SWORE no one would ever see!
(smile!)

MJ said...

Have just penciled in a date with myself for this evening.

ARM said...

I'm officially jealous.

jemison said...

So does this mean you"ll never be leaving the house again?

Pixie Sprinkle said...

Ohhhh look, Mummy is flashing her toothbrush holder on the internet...

ChickyBabe said...

JJ, when did you grow such long hair?

BEAST said...

I am opposed to D I Y.....if you need something doing get in a professional

jungle jane said...

Sausage
Oh I like to lead a modest life. Fame and all its trappings holds no appeal for me. I’m like that Mother Theresa chick – I go about my business quietly and with modesty.

Barman
If you like my twat and ass I think you will be called “dude with a filthy tongue”. You should try contortionism Barman. You could give yourself head whenever you wanted

Tilde
Yes but I am only sharing it with my selected friends. That’s the joy of the internet – its like one great big photo album. Next week I am uploading the one of you with the cucumber up your arse

MJ
Remember to take the shorts off first, yeah?

ARM
No need to be jealous – you are quite welcome to come over and lick my twat

jemison
I’m going to carve a little hole for myself under my desk at work so that I can practice my yoga during the day too. Clever, huh?

Pixie
Don’t be cheeky missy. Run off and roll mummy a joint dear

Chickybabe
I have hair down to my arse. True fact.

Beastie
Yes but they keep wanting to come in via my trademan’s entrance

mutleythedog said...

Have you ever thought of having your tongue pierced Jungley? Just wondered....

Ratty. said...

Does that taste good? Try a little sprinkle of fresh lime on it, Mmm. oysters, delicious.

Denny Shane said...

OMG.... I feel another stroke... or wait... that could be a hardon.

Flyinfox_SATX said...

You just picked up another fan! OMG!

Flyinfox_SATX

Toby said...

Damn, I'm on the wrong side of the pond.

Ratty. said...

Jungley.
You have a very pointed tongue, do you ever have trouble eating Yorkshire puddings or canapés.

brookelina said...

I actually fear coming here now.

EBEZP said...

Thats amazing jj! Good effort, helped by software but great pic.

jungle jane said...

Mutley
I’ll pierce my tongue if you pierce your knob. Deal??

Ratty
Of course it tastes good. I am thinking of bottling my taint and selling it at car boot sales. Oh and the lime advice was terrible – I now have a curdled vagina

Denny
Oh deary me denny – I think you are getting your heart confused with your knob

flyinfox
Welcome to my den of purity! I love flying foxes!

Toby
I have four words for you: British Airways

Ratty
Jesus dude, I get my silky vag out for you all to enjoy and all you can do is yap on about food? I give up with you lot.

Brookelina
This is a safe place, Brooke. You can trust me. Here…close your eyes and let me take you by the hand…

Ebezp
Nonononononono its completely real! Its me! Contorting! I do it all the time – even on the train and stuff. It’s like my ‘special gift’

Captain Smack said...

You and I would make a great couple, Jane. We could completely ignore each other during sex.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Oh fuck, I'm horny and jealous now, no fair, no fair. I can still get one thing behind my head but not both and I never could do that, damn. Oh the jealousy!!

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Very impressed.

If you can do it yourself, no need for a man to do it for you...

Bugwit said...

I have to say, your lawn is extremely well manicured. But then, most women can't see back there to get all the small hairs.

tony said...

i always wanted to do that but i never got 'round to it...........
Whats at Donnington?

jungle jane said...

Smack
Sounds great. I wouldn’t have to worry about you yapping on about ‘your needs’. I could simply knock the top off one and then cuddle myself as I fell asleep.

dirtybitch
Gentle stretching exercises is what you need. Remember the golden rule: no pain, no gain

Ingsoc
I’m a modern girl. Independent, like. I would far rather my gentlemen friends did useful stuff like change my car tyres and take the rubbish out.

bugwit
It’s just laziness. They can use mirrors.

Tony
What do you MEAN, whats at Donnington?? MONSTERS OF ROCK festival. Dude. 3 days of metal mayhem. Iron Maiden headling…thank god I have arse length rock and roll hair. I am sooooooooooo excited…

Newmania said...

JJ that picture does look a bit like you ?I`m scared...and yet aroused .

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Yes, I'll do my Kegal at the same time, you know, kill two fucks w/one stone!

~d said...

(smiling!)
we have had some good times!
damn, sister! Remember this?!

*we are ALL lucky I do not know how to OPERATE THE AWESOME software on my comp!

WHOOPS! Want an apple?

morbid misanthrope said...

That makes Jesus sad. His tears are drowning a village of kittens in South America right now.

jungle jane said...

Newmania
I'm not surprised her face looks like mine. that would be because...well...it is my face. The gold jewellry is a bit of a giveaway though - i'm more the type of chick who wears skulls and chains as accessories

DBS
Never practise your Kegal on a full bladder. Trust me on this.

tilde
Oh lordy me, i remember the apple like it was yesterday! Remember how amazed we were that it was still so crunchy and tasty even after our arses had half crushed it??

morbid
Jesus ought to lighten up on this "one kitten dies per wank" stuff. He should also kill babies and puppies just to even the ecosystem up a bit.

Newmania said...

Aha I see ...I expect everyone except me knew what was going on I was perplexed.


You are really quite cute . I imagine with a some wardrobe staples and a makeover by Trinny and the other one you might yet find a husband .You will have to moderate your language though if you want to land that eligible junior executive.
( Oh and just a few simple canapes can really spruce up a soirre)

Good Luck

Tickersoid said...

* Claps, whistles and air punching *

BEAST said...

The fact that Mr Newmania knows the name of one of the fashion troll duo must make him bi-sexual at the very least.
Do you find yourself strangley drawn to displays of scatter cushions Mr N ????

Jeremy Jacobs said...

mmmm.....

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

If you can do yourself, I hope you don't epect a potential partner to do the same...

Newmania said...

Do you find yourself strangley drawn to displays of scatter cushions Mr N ????

...other boys wanted to play football , but I just wanted to dance and sing and dance and sing and everything !!

Should I try sodomy ?

Ratty. said...

Desirable Jungle Babe.

You ever got a tune out that thing?
Give 'Penny whistle blues' a go - it's made for that instrument.

jungle jane said...

newmania
Cute? Good lord man I have an image to maintain here! I am fierce, not cute. Damn lemme go roll about in some goats blood to prove the point

Tickers
Ah. You’ve got your Ginger Spice aerobics video on then? I hope you’re not wearing the green leotard – its not really your colour

Beastie
I reckon you’re onto something there Beastie. Those are the words of a man that takes it up the ass

Jeremy
I hear that humming while performing oral is a pleasing sensation. I will try it and let you know

Ingsoc
One can never have too many tongues on one’s button. I am happy to share the bean chores out a bit

newmania
Bend over Newmania – let me be your first. I have a watermelon right here that might fit…

Ratty
Dude fuck Penny Whistle Blues – I can fanny fart the whole of Bohemian Rhapsody

Jeremy Jacobs said...

It wasn't that sort of mmmmm......

People like you ought to be locked up.


(locked not licked)

mutleythedog said...

I already have a Prince Albert Ms Jane. I am told it is improves something for women - thought goodness knows what... You can vote for me!!CLICK HERE

fingers said...

I design cardboard-cutout photo props for a living. You know, like those ones where you put your head through the hole and become the 5th Beatle.
You've just given me a super idea for the new one I'm working on for the school fete...

Erin O'Brien said...

Congratulations!

Let's throw a party! We'll have a cake and darling little paper napkins and punch!

Henri Banks said...

haha forgett it thats not your twat,its ~d Twat i remember your last visit in the US !!!

Chris said...

I actually know a girl who can really do that, and it is a site to see, I can tell you, and the great thing was she could lick my balls as I shagged her.

Tickersoid said...

Chris you are so indescrete. My mother is horrified.

Chris said...

Tickersoid, I am sure she was horrified, so was mine when she walked in and caught us at it.

wallycrawler said...

What can I say ?

That is a fantastic pussy ya got there . I can tell your a very healthy gal . You must eat a lott'a green vegetables and drink a lott'a water .

jungle jane said...

Jeremy
Handcuffs sound fabulous. I have some fluffy ones in my handbag in fact

mutley
Now mutley. I will only vote for you if you pay me three beers. Those are da rules

fingers
Oh my word fingers. Do you think there’s a market for people pushing their vaginas through a cardboard cutout?

erin
Awesome. I’ll get some LSD for the punch, yeah?

Henri
My word your photoshop skills are even more awesome than mine! I am going to print it out and stick it up on my desk at work…

Chris
My word chris – in order to do that she would have had to have been able to do a backbend. You should have filmed it and put it up on the internet…she would have liked that

Tickers
I bet your father is relieved Chris didn’t mention about his little party trick??

Wally
I credit my good health to lots of early lights and faith in the lord…

RAFFI said...

tuna or lavender?

RAFFI said...

btw, you are truly sick. you can call me anytime.

jungle jane said...

Raffi
Lavender twat??? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww....

Die Muräne said...

huh, you have lovely eyes ;)

jungle jane said...

Die Murane thank you. I was hoping that this picture would draw attention to my soulful blue eyes. I'm going to send it to my granny - she loves it when i look pretty.

egan said...

Oh my god, yoga sure is paying off.

zen wizard said...

That was a way better hair color for you.

fingers said...

Who's a clever girl, JJ...

Bugwit said...

Hey, Last Summer I ran into Steve Harris in Germany. Jealous Much?

PS: He's short.

jungle jane said...

Egan
Its not yoga, its Ashtangi. More mystical, like...

Zen
No i don't think so. I don't like my hair colour and my ass colour being the same.

Fingers
Well as a top athlete it seems like a shame not to use my prowess off the track too. Us sporting types are not always in bed by 9pm with a warm glass of milk

Bugwit
Have you ever bumped into Ron Jeremy? Mannnn that dude is my hero. He is short too, by the way...