25 June 2007

Personal ads for knobs

Wellhung69
Hang your hat on my hook

Well I might not be an oil painting but I’m definitely not bad looking either. Looks aren’t everything, are they? It’s what is inside you that counts, and I would like to be inside you.

I’m biosexual, so if you are male and think you can take all of me, drop me a line. I am willing to lie about how we met if you are catholic.

Ladies if you have a ‘slim’ build, sorry but if I wanted someone with no tits I would have dated one of the many gay men hit on me constantly. I’m looking for the whole package - If you are fat, that’s okay so long as you have a tight twat.

I like all pets, particularly kittens. My heart just melts for kittens.

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Snakeboy_Yeah
No assholes or faggots

I want a short term relationship or will consider a long term relationship if the right person has chemicals and chemistry. No friendships. I don't need no goddamn friends.

I love sport, especially watersports. I also like rugby (couch), hockey (tonsil), diving (muff) and shooting (jizz). I can't stand movies or picnics or the beach. The last album I bought was Death on the Road by Iron Maiden. Don’t fucking ask me to take you to the movies.

My Miss Perfect will be toothless but I am open to removable dentures. My perfect date would include getting hammered in a titty club while you pickpocket drunks at the bar.

No Fake fakes. I haven’t fucking got time. I have a snake that needs milking, I aint got no time for bullshit.
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Turtle43
Life is short and so am I

Hey how are you? How’s it going? I'm pretty new to this but thought I'd give it a go. I don’t go out much so i thought I’d give this a try. Gosh where do I start? This is so hard! I haven’t done this before! But here goes. This is really the difficult bit!

Well I’m a bit shy until you get to know me and then I really come out of my shell. And I have my own hair.

If you want to know anything more, just ask!

If I sound like what you are looking for, drop me a line! Email me!! What have you got to lose?! Get in touch, yeah?

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NutcrackerLOLLL!!!
I love to eat out!!!!

Hi I’m Nutcracker and as you can see I’m a twin!!! (I’m the one on the left by the way, LOLLLzzzz)

Me: GSOH, N/S, S/D. WLTM BDSM SWM asap. dont like BS, STDS, and HIV's.

You: SWF or BiF, DDF, looking for F/T F2F encounters. BBW need not apply – sorry, I like my women phat, not fat ROTFLMFAO!!!

I love reading – just finished ‘Who Moved My Cheese’. I also like snuggling and double dates. Did I mention I like snuggling? PMSL!!!

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JJWorshipper
A JJ in your bush is worth two in my hand

Well people say I can be cocky, but that’s more down to my bellend implant packing a big dose of attitude. She’s like a Pez dispenser, only way hotter.

If you want to hook up with me you will need be approved by my JJ Hood and let me tell you, she aint quiet. No sense in putting my own likes here – you’ll have to impress the stroppy shrew if you want to fool around with me.

She likes cactii, dwarves, trannies, weed, pills, speed and vitamin B injections into my bollocks.

If you don’t enjoy drinking, smoking, drugs and pornography please don’t apply – she will only keep me awake all night with her bitching, whining and horrible demands.
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posted by jungle jane @ 11:12 am |

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