28 June 2007
Screwing the crew
Having a relationship with someone you work with is as pointless as blowing the devil to ensure you get a place in heaven. Whilst the workplace may seem like a dating agency that pays you to use it, work dalliances can be disastrous for career girls even if you follow the casting couch rule of only ever shagging upwards.
Although romance in the workplace usually either ends in a marriage or a lawsuit when an office affair becomes a problem, it’s usually the woman who falls on the career sword. It is for this reason that your romance should be conducted by stealth.
Dipping your pen in the company ink is hardly surprising – most companies hire people with similar social outlooks and levels of education. Getting to know your colleagues is more natural than in a social context - unlike bars and nightclubs most people are usually sober at work. This obviously does not apply to the porn industry.
The type of job you do often dictates whether or not you are likely to mix emotions and hormones within the office cubicle – one would imagine that many people aspire to work in Corporate Affairs just because the name of the department alone implies sex. You are less likely to hook up with anyone working In IT – these folk have long since forgotten how to interact with living creatures.
As a women there is a limit to how many office affairs you can have without being labelled as a saddle, whilst men of course can work their way through the entire office (nothing gay though) and still get their ass promoted regularly. Try to limit yourself to no more than one fling and one long term relationship.
Your office is the place where you make the magic buttons that pay the bills and romancing in the workplace is like playing with a lighter in a sea of gasoline. Use common sense – don’t do it on the photocopier for example. Not even in an ironic way. Realise that your boss is unlikely to be happy for you either (unless your boss is your new bedbuddy). Even if you are not distracted they will assume that you are and they will watch you more closely for lengthy visits to the stationery cupboard.
The bottom line is that cupid makes you stupid and you want to think very carefully before you mix your spreadsheets with your bedsheets. Consider the breakup – Do you really like all of your exes enough that you wouldn’t mind working with them on a daily basis? Thought not…