It has come to my attention that there is a new program on television called Big Brother. During this show, cameras are trained on people doing fuck all and then they become famous.
Fuck. I can do that. In addition, I can actually communicate with my audience – I don’t see these television folk answering comments.
I intend sitting about working with the cameras trained on me for the whole day today and therefore by this time tomorrow I will be very famous.
I might have to perform a few tricks in order to earn my fame. I don’t have any housemates to fellate or anything, but I am prepared to lick the vagina of the mannequin behind me and I am sure my cat will be prepared to put in an appearance and wash his arse for you.
Your fame-seeking-whore requests will be considered however please bear in mind that I am working and therefore cannot pierce anything, kill stuff or make bombs.